Building Blocks from the Road Less Traveled

Happy Thoughts

2012-01-20T10:59:00.000-06:00

I had a breakdown this morning – yep, while driving down the road.

I began crying and it didn’t stop until about an hour into work. Seriously, I felt like I didn’t get it all out – like I still have part of that and any other breakdown inside me – ready to implode.

It all started with another morning of the girls not getting up and getting dressed by the time we NEED to leave to meet the school bus. When this happens I have to take them both to school on opposite ends of the town and it makes me late to work. This frustration along with being extremely unhappy with my body right now, coupled with a sleepless night for reasons I wont discuss here, and it all just did me in – the tears fell and the sobs were released.

I just don’t know how someone that is so busy with work, family and other responsibilities can be so lonely – and yet I am. In the midst of my wonderful chaotic life – I feel alone. I feel like a bystander in my life because most of it, is spent running around for someone else.

I am blessed.

I am very lucky.

I am making my dreams come true.

Yet…

I feel alone.

I can’t explain it – I don’t even want to try.

I haven't always felt this way - these are new feelings - and yet, I....

One thing that I have learned (and trying to master) is that the Law of Attraction is exact. When someone talks about something negative or depressing, then those situation perpetuate those exact feelings and circumstances and I try to avoid conversations like this all together.

Meaning: Negativity – in any form – is contagious.

So, with that being written, I don’t want to create a negative domino. I will continue to look toward the positive perspective that will pull me out of this funk. I just needed the therapy of writing out loud today.

Until then … think happy thoughts!

…myself included…;-)

Have you ever faked it?

2012-01-18T09:43:00.001-06:00

Have you ever faked it?

Really?

I’m sure some of you just answered that question without really knowing what I just asked – didn’t you!?

LOL! Shame on you!

I’m talking about faking like you were really accomplished in something – like diet and exercise?

This post is stemming from a couple of different conversations I have had recently. I was asked by the Regional Manager at Gold’s Gym in this area if I would like to be a personal trainer for them – a few hours a week.

My initial reaction was HELL to the YEAH!!! Here comes the DRILL SERGEANT! Whoot! Whoot!

But what came out of my mouth to Mr. Strong was, “I need to lose weight first!”

And of course his response to me was “So you’ve put on a few pounds – big deal – you haven’t lost the knowledge! People need trainers like you that have the experience of struggling and overcoming weight issues!” (I do love that man…)

So, I have decided to “think” about it – actually I am looking for the time. The thought of helping people reach a once thought of impossible dream, gives me chills of excitement!

Now fast forward a week to last night. I asked Mr. Strong what time he was getting up, so that I could get up at the same time and run. He said 6am.

At 6 he was already in the shower and I was hitting the snooze on my alarm. I knew he was going to be getting Doodblebug up soon to get him ready for Daycare and as I lay there – wide awake – snuggled under the covers – clearly NOT running – this is what I heard when he came out of the bathroom.

Insert child-like whispering voice here:

“Let’s go Doodlebug, time to wake up. You need to be really quite, your mother is running.”

Of course Doodlebug is looking at the covers and then back at Mr. Strong, thinking he is crazy!

“You have to get ready to go to daycare. Shhhh! You mom is really working up a sweat over there.”

Okay – I can hear every word that he is saying and he knows this! I can’t quit laughing, but you know what? I still didn’t get up and run!

So the question to myself is…am I faking it?

And my answer is – no, no I am not!

I really want to lose weight. I want to be that active runner again that I swore I would never be. I want to wear my regular clothes again – not just mumus or ponchos with leggings!

~~I want~~ – scratch that – I WILL! I've been in a slump lately, but I am finding my way out.

I just have to find a way to work it into my schedules – I can do it!

Besides, I’ve faked it before and you know what? I didn’t get away with it – because no matter what you verbally tell the world, they can still see your fat rolls.

Sending motivation and positive energy across the globe!

Image borrowed from http://www.weirdthings.org/

MmmmmHuuuuuh! Girrrrrrrllll! I've been running 10 miles a day and eating lettuce for 6 months! I'm in the best shape ever!

One of those days.

2012-01-17T15:33:00.001-06:00

I thought and thought - for about the 15 seconds that I had available today - on what to write - I NEEEED to write something!

Hmmmm?

I am having "one of those days" today and I don't want to be negative or complain, but I am sure you can classify which kind of "one of those days" it is from my post.

So instead being negative or complaining, I am sharing a bit of positive information that I think everyone could benefit from when they are having one of these kinds of - "one of those days".

The following item...

LE JACKET'

Unzipped, can hide back-fat rolls created from well? your back fat and bra creases.

Just saying....

;-)

Birthday Post

2012-01-12T14:25:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, it's my birthday, oh yeahhhhhh. Doing the cabbage patch - running man, running man - watch out now!

Today is my birthday!

WooHoo!!!!!!!!

So today? I get to take off!!!!!

I mean.......not from work, or from the kids, or from this blog, but definitely from laundry and housework!

Yay, that makes me happier!

Toodles!

A picture is worth a thousand words...part II.

2012-01-11T16:59:00.001-06:00

Here we go!

5 Star Hotel!

Swimming!

Snow tubing!

The Dreamworks ICE show!

The hotel fitness center and Spaaaaaaaaa!

Slumber room and a wine bottle Christmas Tree!

A great time!

Wonderful family!

HUGE dreams and PERFECT in every way!

Enjoy!

Picture Caption Notes to Come!!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words...

2012-01-10T14:12:00.000-06:00

I know that I wrote I would tell you about my best-ever New Year's trip this year "tomorrow" and I know that "tomorrow" has come and gone, plus a few days, but I've been busy. Plain and simple.

I don't have a lot of time today either, but I needed to take a few minutes to gather my sanity and write.

Okay, maybe I won't be writing much, but at least....as the old saying goes...a picture is worth a thousand words.

So enjoy.

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Did you enjoy those?!

Well of course not! I went to attach all my freaking pictures and they have disappeared off this computer! GRRRRRR!!!!!!

I was assured that when my computer was updated this weekend that all of my stuff was saved...well apparently NOT!

So, one of these days I will post pictures of my best-ever New Year's trip for you!

Right now? I'm going hunting....

A new year...a new me.

2012-01-03T16:26:00.001-06:00

I have a story about our New Year's travels, but most of that will come tomorrow.

Today? Today, I give thanks that I was able to celebrate one of the best New Year’s vacations EVER!

Today is the beginning of a new year – today is the beginning of a new me…

In the months past, I had planned to start this New Year off differently. I didn’t think that I would be posting resolutions to lose weight and become healthier ---AGAIN!

I came to this realization on New Year’s Eve - more specifically, when someone pointed out their fondness of the shirt I was wearing.

What does this mean to you?

Well? What this means to me is that I was blessed to celebrate another ENTIRE YEAR of living (day in and day out) and what have I done?

Yes, I have done wondrous things and lived out some dreams and even shared my life with the entire world, but here I sit, about to write down the same resolutions that I have had since I began making resolutions – lose weight, learn another language and become a healthier and happier me – Twelve years in a row!? Oy!

Who does that?

Me.

I know they write and say that hindsight is 20/20, but really? In reality, I have had T W E L V E Y E A R S to make the same resolutions come true. T W E L V E Y E A R S people! Aren’t your resolutions really your dreams? Aren’t they considered the ideal of ideals of how you want your life to be?

And, I was given the time…

I. Was. Given. The. Time.

I read my shirt and thought to myself “What am I going to do with my life? Well? Apparently I am going to except my excuses and struggle with my weight and happiness, so that I can keep making the same resolutions over and over again…right?”

Wrong!

I declared in that moment – after some stranger pointed out the “saying”:

I will resolve to finally lose the weight I want to lose, learn another language and become the healthier and happier person that I am trying to be now – period. I will NEVER post these resolutions in a future year, because I will accomplish them THIS year – to last the rest of my life!

I will happily assume that I will be given another year to make them come true – I cannot wake up on January 1, 2013 and have squandered the time that was given to me - ever again!

Our New Year’s trip consisted of a 5 Star Hotel, Disney and Dreamworks Characters and events, great food, and the best of family.

New Year’s Eve – I accomplished 5 long, hard, painful and breathless miles – did I puke? Almost! But the spa retreat helped alleviate my stresses afterwards.

New Year’s Day – I woke up a different me - I spent the morning at the spa in the dry sauna to help detox the wine and previous year away and had a great trip home.

This New Year’s was the best I have ever had and IS the start of many more great adventures to come!

This is a new year…this is a new me.

Before and After

2011-12-27T14:12:00.000-06:00

Yay! The renovation and new decor is done! I told you I would post the before and after pics, so here we go!

Chaaaaa-Chinggggggg!

Don't judge my little Christmas tree! I didn't want to put my big 8' up only for a few days!

VOILA! Another dream that came true - for this, I give thanks!

I have some serious dreams to make happen in 2012! Oh man! The excitement has me giddy and nervous all at the same time! Oy!

I Promise Myself...

2011-12-20T10:17:00.000-06:00

Today, I wanted to share with you (courtesy of the Secret TV) Christian D. Larson's Optimist Creed. Why?
Well? that is a good question.

Yesterday, someone called me a saint. And not in the "you're so wonderful - you're a saint!" way, but rather in the "who the fu@k do you think you are? a Saint!?" way.

So, not to interfere with the positive energy that I have going on, I just want to reply with the following creed, because as most of you know, I have been trying really hard to live this way - permanently! It's damn hard! But, I am really learning and applying and reaping all sorts of blessings and benefits from it...

As you can see here, I've had it posted on my vision board at work for a really long time! Just to remind me to keep striving toward mastery.

By the way, do you see the kitchen in the middle of the board? I can now remove that one from my vision board and add something new! WhoooooHooooo! Oh wait! There is another one I have made happen and can take off!!!! EEEEHHHHH! (Go meeeee, doing the cabbage patch - Oh yeah!)

Wow, I have impressed myself! I have made two things come true from my vision board and didn't realize one of them until now! So now I can add two more things and continue manifesting a wonderful life!!!! WoopWoop!

Sorry, I digress...

Here is the Optimist Creed:

This is for you - a peek into the life that I am trying to create and enjoy.

I purposely enlarged this photo outside of the column so you could read it...

I really wanted to share this with everyone today because I believe in those words beyond comprehension to some. I'm no saint and despite my monthly multiple personalities and bitchiness and sometimes very impatient bouts, I am working on mastering these words. And, believe it or not, what I HAVE mastered is the 100% belief that positive thinking can manifest dreams to come true and turn relationships into lasting appreciation! I have experienced proof!

As you all venture into the Christmas and the New Year holidays, I hope blessings and happiness overfill your cups and positive uplifting energy heals your souls.

xoxo

One to remember...

2011-12-16T11:26:00.002-06:00

This morning after I celebrated my 16th day of giving, the Friend sent me this article. Normally I don't share links here, but it made me cry with happy tears. This is definitely one to remember...

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/anonymous-donors-pay-off-kmart-222535611.html

There are no stores that offer this service in my area, but it sure is a WONDERFUL way to give! With every gift large or small, we are becoming "Santa" and embodying the Christmas spirit of true human giving.

"Blessed are those who give without remembering. And blessed are those who take without forgetting." Bernard Meltzer

I hope you all are on your way to having the most joyful and miraculous holiday season EVER!

A mental break...

2011-12-13T15:55:00.001-06:00

WOW! Has it really been 11 days since I posted?! No wonder I’ve been such a bitch!

I have been celebrating my 31 days of giving and aside from a couple of “fingers” and “FUs” I have been very successful.

I love to give to complete strangers. I envision their joy at a small gesture that I hope came at the perfect time in their life. This thought makes me smile…

I haven’t written on here in WAY too long, mostly because I have been living in my office (not really but it feels like it!) trying to get the workload of 3 people done. I have been extremely moody and I refuse to post any of my rants or raves and spread negativity during this giving time. So, that is why my posts have been nonexistent!

Today I am still working hard to get this audit over with – which hasn’t even started – but I am doing everything in my power to make things run quickly and efficiently! Oy! I’m tired!

As I sit here in my office – taking a small mental break – listening to my sick child snore on the couch – I am reminded how fortunate I really am.

I’m ready for my workload to ease up, my renovations to be complete and my children to be well.

I’m mentally exhausted.

I’m physically frustrated.

I think if I can make it through all these obstacles – without gaining any more weight – I will deem myself a hero!

I hope today is one of those days for you where you can look through all the hard work, frustrations, sicknesses and obstacles and see how truly lucky you really are.

Today I have been trying to find my way out of this negatively influenced funk and I think I just did…writing this post has helped!

Now, that doesn’t mean that when I get home I will act like Mary Poppins, because I won’t! But, I will promise you that I will keep trudging my way back to “the positive me.” (And posting more!)

For food in a world where many walk in hunger;
For faith in a world where many walk in fear;
For family & friends in a world where many walk alone;
I give heartfelt thanks.

As life happens...

2011-12-02T08:30:00.001-06:00

I'm sorry it's been over a week since I posted, but as usual, I am extremely busy.

This week has been one hell of a week in the life department.

The past few days have been extremely frustrating - to say the least and keep my negative energy in tact!

Thanksgiving was a great holiday! We got to see family, eat great food, play on the ranch, have a few cocktails, and watch my nephew play for the Regional Championship football title.

Then it was back to reality on Monday. Work has been busier than ever, and my kitchen/fireplace renovations are closer to completion! Yay!

Yesterday Kitty passed her test and obtained her learner's permit for driving! EEEEK!

Today and this weekend are going to be busy with holiday parties, tennis and driver's ed! Oy!

As life happens - the good and the bad - I am still struggling a little bit in finding the ongoing positive perspective I once had. Yesterday, for the month of December, I started 31 days of giving. (of course I counted "the finger" I gave to a certain individual...) But, anyway, I need to somehow find the gratitude and positive energy to turn my slump around - Christmas time usually does this for me, but the past few days have thrown a blindsided old rusty wrench into the mix and my excitement was screwed a few notches!

Mr. Strong says my depression is caused by lack of sex...yah...that's his diagnosis. I know that is probably shocking to you all that he would say something like that...wink, wink.

We haven't had time alone away from well? anything or anyone in a while, so maybe I will try his medicinal remedy and see if that helps tonight! If it doesn't work then Dr. Strong is sooooo FIRED!

Have the best weekend ever!

Here is a picture of a most beautiful sunrise. This reminds me that with every new day comes the endless possibilities of making my dreams come true.

Soap and a Penis

2011-11-23T09:20:00.001-06:00

Last night I posted on Facebook that apparently the bath soap I buy has to pass the “penis” test! Yes, you read that correctly!

See, picture this:

This is one of my favorite soaps on the market today. It is Aveda’s all natural Rosemary Mint bath soap and the smell is absolutely orgasmic AND it can be yours for $12 at Joe James’ Salon and Day Spa! I mean who wouldn’t want their body parts smelling minty fresh? I do! But, here’s the situation. This soap is also an exfoliate soap, which means that it isn’t the smoothest soap in the world – I love it!

I am also absolutely in love with Soaptopia’s all natural soaps! If I had the money, I would open up the first franchise of Soaptopia in Texas! I would have a little soap boutique and be extremely happy!!!

Sorry, I digress…

Back to my Aveda soap…

One of Mr. Strong’s guilty pleasures is actually taking bubble baths…shhhh…you didn’t hear that from me. The other night in his super hot and relaxing bubble bath he yelled for me to get him some soap. I walked in and told him that the soap is right next to his shoulder. He explained to me that “that is not soap! That shit is too rough!”

Rough?

Seeing the perplexed look on my face, he then began to explain that the all natural soap that I bought doesn’t lather like the old soap and it can’t be used on his penis because it is scratchy!

Hmmmm? Really?

Yes ladies, let me inform you that after 17-1/2 years of marriage, I am just now learning that the soap I buy has to pass the “penis” test!

So, how does the soap actually pass the test?

Here is the most important information of all and why soap is a man’s best friend:

Mr. Strong’s Soap Rules to Pass the Penis Test

1. It cannot be an exfoliate soap. If it cannot be applied directly to the penis for washing without pain and grimacing from its roughness – don’t buy it. (Ladies, if he does use it, be warned that his pain – according to him – can only be taken away “if you kiss it better!”)

2. It has to lather! If you cannot rub it between your hands and get a good lather for washing then don’t buy it! (apparently lather is important because it makes the ACTION of cleaning hinder free. wink…wink)

3. It can’t be a drying soap because smooth and soft skin – over the whole body – is just as important to men. (I mean, who wants a dry crusty penis right? Ewww!)

So, there you go!

Next time you go to the store in charge of buying soap – remember those rules if you are married or have a male companion. Or, do what I am going to do next time Mr. Strong is yelling at me to bring him “the right” soap – act like I can’t hear him and run away to the other room!

Toodles!

Signs and Day 1...

2011-11-21T14:25:00.001-06:00

Have you ever stopped to really listen to the Universe? Have you ever really noticed the signs telling you what you need to hear?

Well I have! And boy did they ring in loud and clear over the weekend.

Case in point:

As I was trying to put together this wall shelf over the weekend, my frustration mounted into yelling and screaming at the kids and I might have thrown the instructions a time or two. Then all of a sudden the metal pole ricocheted and hit/cut me over the left eye leaving me in pain and crying.

Sign 1 from the Universe: "Take that! Do I have your attention now?! Chill out, calm down, and quit taking your anger out on everyone around you! "

This morning after another mostly sleepless night I woke up hungry. Nothing sounded good for breakfast except some hot, fresh, salt and peppered, Whataburger french fries! Yum! So I pulled into Whataburger order me some and as I went to get some and stick them in my mouth, they were the stale, cold, flimsy and soggy! And if you know me, I CAN NOT eat stale, cold, flimsy and soggy french fries! Yes, I was pist!

Sign 2 from the Universe: "How do those taste? You keep bitching about your weight and your clothes not fitting, so here! Let me help you out, since you obviously didn't have the will power to stay out of the drive-thru!"

As much as I would like to bitch-slap the Universe across the face for inflicting physical and emotion wounds on me - all I can say is Thank You!

I see the light...

In addition to my weekend of signs - and those weren't the only ones - I signed the contract to have my kitchen remodeled - beginning today. WooHoo! Like I am not stressed enough!!!!

But, this remodel is going to go smoothly, the work will be high quality and precise and it will run in such a timely manner that it will be best for both parties. I am super excited to finally be opening up my kitchen to the living room!!!!! (doing the cabbage patch...running man...sprinkler...watch out now!) I have wanted this for YEARS people, YEARS!

Here are some pictures from Day 1's work:

Here we go! (And no I do not mean "we" as is me or Mr. Strong.)

WOOHOO!

You can't really tell it, but my breakfast bar will be 12-1/2 feet long!

New Rock Fireplace

More exciting pictures to come. This will be a short work week and we are leaving town for the holiday, so to everyone out there that has wanted something for YEARS - it is your turn to make it happen! Good luck and if you don't hear from me before Thursday have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!

MUUUUWAHHHHH!

The Giving Tree

2011-11-17T15:10:00.001-06:00

Today is a late post.

I am late because well? Frankly, I have been in a crappy mood due to my spoilt, unappreciative children. Yes, I know they are my fault, so please reframe from any snide comments or what you think might be helpful tips because I might just have to result to verbal violence. Mmmkay?

Anywhoozle, like I wrote, I was in a terrible mood. I have been feeling mounting pressure from all sides of my life and I just want to scream “I CAN’T DO IT ALL!!!”

Then today at work, we received our Ornaments from the Giving Tree. My company sponsors a tree every year and I pick out 5 children (1 for each of us) that is in need of 2 gifts for Christmas. My children will give up asking for two of their gifts in place of buying two gifts for another child. I am trying to teach them that giving IS a gift to yourself!

Looking at these ornaments breaks my heart because I know that these children and hundreds more will not be with their families or have been removed from a hostile environment and will be among strangers for the holidays. I hate it.

But I LOVE the fact that I have the means to provide some unexpected happiness and joy to children. I wish I could take every ornament that is created every year and provide each child with their Christmas wishes, but alas, I can’t afford that YET!

Last year I wrote a post that included this about my children and believing in Santa Claus:

“Santa Claus is a Christmas spirit. He is a spiritual energy that can make miracles happen. You can’t use your own perspective when it comes to Santa. You have to open your imagination across the entire globe and know that Santa’s are at work everywhere. Do you realize that because YOU BOTH decided to buy 2 presents for children that are in dire need of a Christmas miracle and wish, they will be waking up to presents under the tree this year in a stranger’s house – just for them!? Do you think that for one instant, they will think their parents put them there? You are the Santa Claus that will bring the excitement and joy to a small child that has otherwise been in a very bad situation. Do you realize that because of your giving nature this holiday season, you ARE Santa Claus to that child? You might not be there in person to see him or her open their gifts, but you can feel their happiness through how you felt when you opened your presents and it was EXACTLY what you wanted. You are their Christmas miracle – you are the reason that gives a child HOPE that life can be fantastic! That is what Santa Claus is all about. That is why Santa Claus is so important to believe in - in your life for evermore. “

I hope my children never forget this. I hope when I take these ornaments home, my children find the appreciation and gratitude I know they have possessed – somewhere deep, deep, down in their ~~black~~ loving souls.

Today…because I can help make a few Christmas wishes come true…I found tear-jerking thankfulness and joy.

If you are out and about between now and Christmas and you come across a tree filled with children's ornaments? "may you find the finances and willingness to make a child's Christmas wish come true!"

And if you are reading this and own a company? I challenge you to sponsor a whole tree - because as I've written before and 100% believe in, the pureness of genuine giving will be multiplied back to you in magnificent ways!

I give because it puts a smile on someone's face and joy in my heart!

Insert sarcasm voice here...

2011-11-15T10:15:00.001-06:00

Okay, today I am just going to get right to the point.

I was going to blog about the past few days- my anniversary - the girls' tennis tournament - Doodlebug's birthday - my awesome diet & exercise day yesterday - but hell no! I don't have time.

I don't have time.

After a long, mostly sleepless night, I woke up to an email asking ME to get this, and this, and this, and this, and that! Then I had to get this, and this, and this, and that, done for the girls. Not to mention, this, and this, and this, and that, done for the house. And to top it all off - I got on the scale today and and immediately had the urge to throw that fucker against the wall for lying! Yes, my scale lies - in my mind...

WTF!

Insert sarcasm voice here...really get excited when you read these lines! mmmkay?

Okay, yes I will stop everything that is backed up on my desk, home and life to get you what you have every access to obtain!

Yes, please let me stop what I am doing to make your life, work, and stress -wonderful, reduced and minimized! OH BOY!

I feel so blessed that I can do everything for everyone at every freaking moment of the day without appreciation, recognition or assistance! Yippeee!

No, I don't want to scream at you to bite my ass and do it yourself!

No, I don't want to yell "ARE YOU A FU@KING IDIOT?!"

No, I don't want to run away crying because I NEED HELP JUST TO HELP YOUR ASS!

~~GRRRRRR~~ SMILING :-)!

_______________________

Okay - meltdown accomplished.

Back to reality...I feel better now.

WOOOOOSAHHHHHH!

Mental Notes and Musings

2011-11-09T09:51:00.000-06:00

Sooooooooo

I think I officially weigh more than a Biggest Loser contestant. What does that mean? Nothing – I’ve almost convinced myself that I am 3 feet taller than that person, so it doesn’t matter.

Right?

I have not had an “official” vacation from work this year. I’m going stir-crazy! I think it’s time to run away to a nude beach and feel good about myself again. Not because I will go nude, but because I will learn to appreciate my body from seeing other people that are way bigger than I am sporting their nudity like a super model. And, maybe I will get lucky and see my future breast on some hot international model - this way I can take a picture for my doctor… ;-)

My closet is busting at the seams! Literally! I need to take a vacation just to clean my closet – it’s beyond ridiculous, but I am expressing my gratitude for every piece of clothing, shoes and whatever else that I have been able to buy myself! I don’t think I can begin to explain how cram-packed it really is. I found a bag of clothes that I bought 2 months ago and forgot that I had even bought them – now that is baaaaaaad!

It’s no secret that I love my job! I have the best job in the world for my current situation. (Go me….cabbage patch, running man!) But! Lately, I have been feeling that “lack” again in my personal life, like I should be contributing more to helping people help themselves – namely, me! I think it has something to do with the beautiful weather we have been having here after one of the hottest summers on record – I am itching to experience some nature again!

We have a 5k, tennis tournament, anniversary and Doodlebug’s birthday this weekend and I am already exhausted just thinking about it all. *sigh*

I went back and read some of my older posts yesterday and can I write that damn! I inspired myself! I officially want a treadmill in my office now (or somewhere close). I have been told that I would need new electrical circuits to handle the current, but really? I’m not sure if I believe that…why would my home be able to accommodate a treadmill but not my “commercial” office? Hmmm? Research needed. Then again, my employer pays for a gym membership, so maybe I just need to take my butt there…

Hmmm? I’ll think about all these things more while I’m lying in the tanning bed at lunch…

The Law of Attraction

2011-11-08T14:55:00.000-06:00

The Law of Attraction Page is up!
Yay!
Finally!

May the energies of positive thinking be returned to you 10-fold!

Multiple Personalities

2011-11-07T16:03:00.000-06:00

Yes, this would be me! I have multiple personalities and I am proud of it!

It's no surprise to you? lol. You must read my blog...

I'm not talking about a mental sickness people - I'm sure some of you would disagree - but those people can bite me!

World? Let me introduce myself…

By day I am Corporate:

By night I am High Fashion:

And the weekends? Well you will find me as Fitness, Casual Chic or sometimes just plain – Plain:

I love the confidence I get from a freshly pressed business suit; I love the sexiness I feel from a short dress and sky-high stilettos; I love the relief of workout clothes and tennis shoes and I love the comfort of worn out jeans and the convenience of a baseball cap!

I am all of these women rolled into one! Unfortunately, in my personal life, most people who know me know me only in one aspect. My co-workers know me only as Corporate or Fitness. My close friends know me as High Fashion or Casual Chic, and my shooting buddies? Well they know me only as Plain!

And Mr. Strong? Well he knows me as all of these women and he loves every little conservative, avant-garde, naughty, nice, uncomfortable and comfortable personality that I have!

So what prompted this post today? The HOLIDAYS!!!

Yes, party after party where I can finally put my High Fashion personality on display and feel sexier than "hell" in designer clothes and SHOES! WhoHoo!!!!!!!

Yep - It’s been a pleasure meeting you!

(I think I need some artificial sunlight, so my white legs don't take the attention away from the AWESOME dresses and shoes I am going to buy!!!! EEEEE! )

Tidbit...

2011-11-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

Hey did y'all know I am finally "google-able"? Hell yeah baby! WhoHoo! Yay!

The girls and I are getting ready for a big tennis weekend. Kitty has to keep playing in the USTA tournaments to win the points needed to graduate to the US Open qualifying tournaments!

Oy!

...my little girl playing in the US Open...?

Yep...I think I can live with that!

Go out and do something uncharacteristically awesome for yourself or for someone else this weekend! I dare you!

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

Muah!

Charitable Hump Day

2011-11-02T10:13:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a long time I got on the scale this morning and was happy.

Happy about what the number read and happy that I didn’t have the repeated urge to put the scale under the back tire of the HUMMER and run over it yelling “What do I weigh now biatch!? Huh? Huh?”

I’m still not completely well yet, so running is out of the question for a couple more days.

And you know what? I’m okay with that – I still know that I will finish this year out strong!

AND, I just need a few more photos and my website will be published and up and running! Yay!

This morning…I am happy.

Today…I am grateful.

So to encourage some lasting longevity of my good mood, today will be Charitable Hump Day.

(And NO, Mr. Strong – “hump day” does not mean the literal act of humping! ;-) xoxo)

Today holds a multitude of possibilities in the charitable department and not all of them require money.

For example(s) I might:

Give a bigger tip today.

Give encouragement to those around me.

Give someone a gift for no reason.

Buy coffee or lunch for some stranger.

Give a smile, compliment or kindness to someone.

Even though I am still a little drugged up on cold/sinus medicine and don’t feel 100% well yet, today is going to be a good day! And, as you have read before: “Send out some positive/charitable energy and the Universe will send it back!” The Law of Attraction never fails!

Soooooo, what will you do today to increase your happiness?

Life, Work and Travel

2011-11-01T10:42:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a freaking month since I posted!

Ummmm? WTH is wrong with me?

Nothing - it's been a whole shitload of life, work and travel!

Well, I am back and more present than usual.

Why?

Because I am down some lbs - mainly because I have been sick with a sinus head cold and swollen tonsils.

Because I have finished the HUGE work project that has had me living on my computer 24/7.

Because I have conquered (just got back from) this years National Sporting Clays Championship and retained my title of Ladies SxS Champion! (oh yeah, go me... doing the cabbage patch...it's my birthday.)

Because after all the stress and mania and multiple personalities that I have been know to display lately, this man (Mr. Strong) remains by my side. Oh and FYI - this was one of his BEST Nationals Sporting Clays Championships ever! He did great!

Yum.

See the shell eject? Great shot! Way cool!!!!

No - you will not find any pictures of me......yet!

For now...It's time to keep this blog updated and to get my website completed!!!!!

I'm totally slacking!

One of those mornings...

2011-10-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I wrote that I didn't give a crap that the 14lbs of gained fat~~abulous~~ was hanging (literally) around. I wrote that I could still end this year with a bang and I meant it.

I still feel that way - about finishing the year out strong, anyway.

Thanks to CA I was able to view (via picture) a most beautiful sunset. See, last night it was kind of perfect. I cooked (and yes we all survived) the healthiest meal that I have probably ever cooked (except a salad, but you don't really cook those do you?) It was delicious! I focused on my portion control and drank a glass a wine to wind down and relax to - what was to me - a really good day. Last night I felt that I was on a mission to conquer the world!

BEAUTIFUL and RELAXING!

This morning? Welllllll, not so much.

This morning was one of those mornings where - I wanted to conquer finding a pair of pants that fit!

I lost.......and I was close to burning my closet down........seriously................I need therapy.

Today was a day that I wished for the first time that I owned a pair of Spanx or some other girdle contraption. That was a very sad moment for me...

I am so much better than this.

So as I lay on a huge mound of clothes in my closet, I shut my eyes and meditated for about 5 minutes.

WhooooooooSahhhhhhhhhhh!

Instead of driving to whatever store was open at 7am and going in my underwear and traumatizing a hundred people - I finally found a pair of pants.

I have to stop and think that my weight gain - albeit my fault - has some deeper meaning. I have to stop and think that maybe I am going through this rough patch in order to become a more compassionate trainer to my clients. I have to realize this change is happening to me because something fantastic is coming out of it!

In order to retain this perspective, I have to get rid of all the negative energy that has been around me.
I have to...

Duck! with a capital "F"

2011-10-05T08:36:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it is already October! Man I have been slacking - hardcore! My last post was September 14th! Yikes!

Well, I am happy to inform you that I have been working on a new Website the last 3 weeks and it is ALMOST finished! YAY!

Don't worry, I will have my blog attached to it, so you can reach me on two different venues! (mmmhuh! Oh yeah, doing the cabbage patch!)

Today is one of those days that I woke up revived and laughing. (It probably had nothing to do with Mr. Strong laying on me and me farting really loud either! I think I've done that in front of him maybe a handful of times in the 17.6 years that we have been married...yes, I was extremely embarrassed - at least it wasn't while he was naked laying on top of me - that would have been a whole other post!) I'm sure it was probably because for the first time in a long time I was able to sleep through the whole night! Yes, the WHOLE night! WhooooHoooo!

It's October and I am nowhere near my New Year's Resolution goal to have six-pack abs. Matter of fact, I am now up 14 freaking pounds! ALL fat - I'm sure of it...

And right now, instead of shouting Duck! with a capital "F", I don't care. I still have time to get busy and today is a new day. In addition to the rest of this week, there are 12 weeks left in this calendar year and I am making it my personal goal to either hit the gym or hit the road and get in at LEAST an hour of workouts each and every day until the end of the year. oy!

No. Excuses.

May you take the opportunities of a brand new day to find your happiness.

For so long, I got caught up on working on the outside of me, that I lost myself and I am now paying the price of +14 pounds of emotional sabotage and no clothes that fit (correctly).

I am happy to write that I am back to working on the inside of me - my mind - my thoughts - my beliefs. As I do this, I know the outside will follow.

May you find your happiness and motivation each and every day!

Wakeup-Call Wednesday

2011-09-14T13:53:00.001-05:00

I’m sad.

I’m a little depressed.

I’m a little numb.

I am actually kicking myself in the ass for gaining 11 – now 12 pounds when I was doing so well.

I think I self-sabotaged because I was a little afraid of the success and happiness that I was beginning to feel.

Unfortunately, there are no two ways about it – my 12lb gain SUCKS!

It sucks little tiny Seahorse dingalings because the giant riding Horse dingdongs would be too easy!

I took a risk and committed to promising myself that I would no longer stand in my own way and guess what?

Wake-up Call!!!!!

I succeeded and then failed miserably!

There’s nothing fun about tripping over my own “Drill Sergeant” ego and falling flat on my ass!

NOTHING.

I could beat myself up about it a little more and wallow in my self-pity, but then I wouldn’t be able to stand myself! I would have to eventually look in the mirror and shout out loud “GET OVER IT! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET BACK ON TRACK – NOW – GO RUN!”

You see, someone once said that the only true failure in life is in not trying. And let me tell you I tried! I tried successfully and then I tried unsuccessfully, but you know what I can hide away in my now larger sized jean pockets? That I KNOW it can be done.

I have no excuses except for the ones that I allow myself to give power to, and well? those just aren’t cutting it anymore!

I jumped on the wagon all gung-ho to prove a point to everyone and myself - I rode that pony for awhile and then I watched in slow motion as I bounced my big ass right off onto the ground with a thud!

And now? I am rubbing my head, wondering what the hell went wrong. But instead of waiting on the answer to come, I am chasing that freaking wagon down the road, burning calories ready to hop back on!

I’m not sure if I will have time to work out today, but I have realized something that I was trying very hard to suppress: I have the mornings.

If I am not promised the lunch or afternoon workouts – I always have the mornings.

Yep – the 5am timeslot is calling my name again. That is the solution to my “work out” problems, but I kept trying to avoid it like the plague hoping something else would present itself. But nothing has…

I have an extra 12lbs and I am out of excuses.

Moreover, I am out of self-pity. I can't stand myselft - I want to get in my own face and scream "I HEAR THE BITCHING, BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT!!!!!???"

On that note: I leave you all today with the encouragement to continue on your journeys and know that you can do anything you set out to do – even if you fall off the wagon and are being humped by a stray dog – you can pull yourself together and chase that mother-effing wagon down!

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places.” Earnest Hemingway

UPDATE: Added the following video for Brandy! MUAH!

Temper Tantrum Tuesday

2011-09-13T14:20:00.001-05:00

So yesterday you all read that I couldn’t work out on my lunch break because I had to take Kitty to the dentist. When we were done, I asked her where she wanted to eat. Of course she responded with “Olive Garden” – why the hell not, right? The mood I was in needed some carbs to help increase my 11lbs gain – whatever – I was depressed. (I know that is no excuse…)

Anywhoozle, while we were sitting at our table this couple was seated behind us. I couldn’t tell if they were maybe friends or meeting for a first lunch date, because of the way she was talking to him. She was a decent build – not too thin, not too skinny and he was what I would call a “muscle head.” Muscles and veins popping out everywhere…

This is what Kitty and I heard:

Girl: “I can’t believe you eat here! There are so many carbs and a ton of fat in every plate!”

Guy: “Yeah, but it taste really good.”

Girl: “I just can’t order anything off this menu.”

Guy: “okay, you want to go somewhere else?”

Girl: “No, that’s okay – ummm – waiter? I can’t eat any of these items on your menu. Can I create my own plate? Yes? Okay, I want a grilled chicken breast – no butter – and steamed veggies. Just charge me what you think is fair since this is not on your menu.”

Guy: “I want the 5-cheese Ziti and please bring the salad dry with the dressing on the side – she doesn’t eat dressing. Also, can you put cheese on my salad plate and not on the salad that I’m going to share with her?”

Kitty and I laughed about it this for a minute. This couple was extreme opposites, but the way that she ordered her food had this pompous tone behind it – like the waiter was in second grade.

We talked about her order for a minute and then I told Kitty that maybe she had lost 100lbs or maybe she had weight loss surgery or whatever the reason – that girl definitely had discipline.

(Something we should have been exercising a lot more of – especially after writing my post yesterday!)

Kitty looked at her plate of pasta and said, “well at least I am going to be playing tennis for 2-1/2 hours later! I will work off the calories.”

She said this with a little bit of guilt in her voice and I told her that yes indeed, she would be working off the calories so not to fret over her meal.

Then, a shock of lightening went through my head and down to my feet – Oh SHIT! - I realized that I WOULD NOT be working those calories off and wanted to remove myself from the table and go throw up!

Seriously people! How can I bitch about gaining 11lbs and then find myself in Olive Garden eating Chicken Scampi and making fun of someone who is very disciplined in her food choices while garlic butter runs down my chin!

WTF is wrong with me?!!!

Depression? Hell yes!

Insanity? Well of course!

Hypocrisy? 100% without a doubt!

Shish!

I had a glass of wine for dinner and a long hot bubble bath with a good book last night.

This morning I felt different. I reminded myself that I couldn’t change what has happened in the past; I can only change what I want to here in the now! This moment! What was I going to do about my 11lbs?

You guessed it! I packed my gym bag, so that I could work out at lunch.

Body Pump?

Spin?

5 Miles?

Hell yes! Bring it all on! Oatmeal for breakfast and I am ready to conquer this “bitch”!

About 10am I get a text from Kitty that reads:

“Mom, I have a tennis match today at 4. I need you to bring me water and my uniform. Sorry, I didn’t know I was playing.”

I sat there for a few minutes asking myself: Really? Really? REALLY!!!!!!?????

FUUUUUUUUUU#$%^^%^&^&& - commence the temper tantrum!

I can’t catch a break! Why you ask? Because in order for me to be able to leave work at 3:30, so I can stop by the store to get her water, go home and get her uniform and then make it to her game by 4 – I mostly have to work through lunch.

Oh, and it doesn't stop here!

While Kitty starts playing her matches at 4, sometime after that, I will have to pick up Kiki from Cross Country practice at 5:30, drive across town to pick up Doodlebug by 6:30 and then make it make to watch Kitty’s final match – when everything starts winding down around 8pm we will get home, I will fix supper, help Kiki with her mounds of math homework, help Kitty with her homework and somehow get everyone bathed (or not) and off to bed.

I might be able to meditate before going to bed, but one thing is certain – I will not get a workout in today.

But, I am not defeated – a little depressed – but not defeated!

Tomorrow is a new day and my gym bag is still packed!

Melancholy Monday

2011-09-12T09:49:00.000-05:00

Does anyone know the secret of how to “live” life when you are pulled in a hundred different directions because of family & work obligations? I mean really?

I have been trying since the beginning of summer and I seem to be falling further and further behind since school started – especially in my workouts.

And my writing…my writing is therapy for me, and for some reason my sanity seems to be coming in third to everything else! I am working on this too – I promise!

I confess today that my mood stems from me finally getting on the scale this morning! Yep – I couldn’t take it anymore - I had to see how much weight I have gained. After trying on SIX pairs of pants this morning, my clothes are no longer just the indication that I need to cut down – they are screaming at me “I don’t fit you! Quit trying to suck in and buckle me! You are hurting me!” (No my clothes don’t talk, but I’m sure that is what they would say to me if they could!)

11 pounds – that is the result. ELEVEN freaking pounds!

I have officially fallen off the wagon and I am ashamed. I am ashamed because I know that I am a better person than the one that was looking back at me in the mirror this morning. I know that I committed and resolved to have a better body and to quit standing in my own way this year – and I can’t explain how it happened. I am ashamed and I feel like a fraud, because I preach this stuff every day –hell! I am a Certified Personal Trainer! I KNOW what it takes to keep a healthy weight – I KNOW what it takes to work hard and accomplish the impossible – I KNOW how it feels to be so self-conscious that you don’t want your husband of 18 years to see you naked!

And yet…

I lost focus…

I lost motivation…

I lost myself…

A really good virtual friend of mine MrsFatass has been asked to “audition” for ABC’s new show “the Revolution” and I hope she makes it through! Go read about it here! I want to see her every ?day on TV and watch her succeed!

The show is about busy, working parents that need to lose 50 – 100 lbs while continuing their day-to-day obligations. There is no “time-out” in this show. This show will show you that you can lose the weight while you live your busy life.

I wish I could be on this show! Just so that I could learn how to manage this objective! Fortunately, I don’t have 50-100lbs to lose (only 40 now that I have gained 11 back!), but unfortunately for the viewers, my busy schedule would be the epitome of what “busy” is and the potential to overcome any doubts that this “stuff” really works and is possible!

In my ~~stupidity~~ urgency to fit into my work clothes this week, I decided last week that I will start back my daily workouts. This hit me last Tuesday, so Wednesday I went to a BodyPump class on my lunch break. I sweat and sweat and it felt great!

So great in fact that I decided I would take another one on Thursday! That class was fun! I increased my weight loads, I sweat and again it felt great! Friday I had to cut my workout short to go pick Kiki up from school, so I was only able to run 3 miles.

Saturday morning I woke up and could barely move! From my shoulders to my calves – I hurt. It actually hurt to sit down and pee because my thighs were on fire! So, I didn’t get any exercise in Saturday or yesterday and I feel like crap now! I feel like crap because my clothes don’t fit – I feel like crap because I knew better!

I know better!

I was going to go to another class on my lunch break today, but I have to take Kitty to the dentist. After work is Kiki’s Cross Country practice, Kitty’s Tennis Practice and maybe I can fit in a late evening workout.

(Which I hate – I hate working out in the evenings – the late rush of adrenaline keeps me up at night – I guess I better change my perspective and attitude towards late workouts – Law of Attraction right?)

I was happiest the summer before last where I was dragging the girls out of bed at 5am and running. We would have breakfast at home and I was able to write almost every day. What changed? The girls went back to school and I have been searching for that undivided attention to myself, since.

The reality is, my schedule, my time, my life has been put on hold because the girls, Doodlebug, Mr. Strong, our home, my work and whatever else that arises comes first.

My psychoanalysis: I let it – I let it because it is a socially acceptable excuse that everyone understands and accepts without question.

There is no quick fix here – ask my still aching ass muscles!

But, I have acknowledged my problem and am working on it…

Today I write it out – in this moment I am applying therapy that I know has worked in the past.

I designed a class here locally for people that want to Learn to Run. It’s a 5k, 5 days a week for 5 weeks. It would start next Monday and end the day before a really good 5k race. I would be the instructor and the class could run the 5k as a group to show the world that they were able to find a finish line that included achieving something they never thought was possible. The timing, the concept and the weather is perfect!

There’s only one problem – I haven’t figured out how (or haven’t had time to figure out how) to build a small website where people can go to download the waivers/releases and pay. I only have this week/weekend to advertise and I can’t seem to GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY! I feel like I am not good enough and I feel like I am a fraud – because I KNOW that this will help so many people find the confidence to continue running and living a healthier lifestyle – and yet I can’t get my shit together to get it started!

The longer I delay – the less perfect the timing is – it needs to start next Monday!

I feel like the stars are aligning, the Universe is on my side and Mother Nature is telling me “it’s time” and all I can think about is that I am scared to take that first step towards a life that I know I am meant to have.

All because I gained 11 pounds.

Thanks to CA - I look foward to sunrises again...

Update

2011-09-01T13:46:00.001-05:00

I am still here!

Hello?

Anyone out there?

Sorry I left for 2 weeks without a warning!

Shame on me!

I am working on an actual post to publish...this isn't it...

For now, the first two weeks of school have kicked my ass! I've been pulled in all different directions at the same time and for the love of Zeus's butthole! will someone PLEASE tell my children that I am NOT superwoman!

Mmmkay?

Shish - already!

Road Less Traveled

2011-08-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

The Road Less Traveled page is now up!

Happy Reading!

Play by Play and My Fantasy Escape

2011-08-15T10:05:00.000-05:00

OMG - I am writing today!

Yep, I actually have time to write a few words for you all today. Sorry I just left like that ---- you know, sorry for taking a week ~~or two~~ off from Blogland and leaving everyone hanging!

You have my permission to fly me to any resort destination for a week or two, put me up in a 5-star hotel and kick my ass ~~the whole time~~ in between spa treatments!

Let me run you through a play by play of my last two weeks...mmmmkay?

First, Kitty made the Varsity tennis team (as a freshman) and I am so proud of her! YAY!

Anywhoozle, this is the down and dirty play by play of my life over the last 2 weeks from sun-up to sun-down:

Work
Tennis
Work
Tennis
Make up work from time lost on tennis and practices.
Work
Laundry
School Shopping
Work
Tennis

Man, that's exciting huh?

I feel like I have become an inconvenienced chauffeur and pulled in a 100 different directions!

I want to scream because I know that it is only going to get worse as school starts!

Which brings me to my fantasy escape plan...

After careful consideration, I have decided that I would like to escape to the Biggest Loser Ranch. Yes, you read correctly. I want to go there and concentrate on NOTHING BUT ME!

I want to focus on MY workouts.
I want to focus on MY eating.
I want to focus on MY mental health!

BEFORE I have a breakdown!

I know it's not going to happen, but I can take a few minutes from my very short lunch break (after I take care of tennis) to day dream!

Wish me luck!

Yep, that about covers it...sorry you waited so long for such an over-the-top, dramatic, "my life is sooo exciting" post!

I'm going to go cry and break something now, or maybe I will just go sit in the dry-sauna (when I can find some time)...I really don't need any more negative energy coming my way!

Shish!

Potty Mouth

2011-07-28T13:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday you read that I haven't had time for MY workouts and it has become very frustrating. Last night after work Doodlebug and I sat through the girls' 2 hour long tennis lesson and again for another hour this morning at the crack of dawn.

I'm burnt out. I need energy and the only way I can get the kind of energy I need is by working out.

I'm bitchy...and my endorphins are relaxing on a beach somewhere drinking mojitos without me!

This weekend another tennis tournament, but I have promised myself that I will get in workouts for ME and my bitchy, jiggly ass!

Next week? I will begin weight training with Mr Strong 2-3 times a week.

Oh boy!

This is where I commence to hyperventilate.

But I need the challenge and he will motivate me to the point of spaghetti arms and not feel bad for me. I will get no sympathy from him - none - nada - zilch.

So let's reiterate shall we?

Me

The only picture I could find where you could see my arms...

Not too bad - I have great raw materials to work with...

Mr. Strong

Yum....

Fuck! My asshole just clenched!

I'm so screwed!

I will let you know how my first workout with him goes...that's if I will be able to type again!

Sorry for the "potty-mouth", but I am scarrrrred!

(with a capital F)

2011-07-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

I’m Freaking (with a capital F) STARVING!

I’m buried under a growing pile of paperwork at the office!

I’m having “writing” withdraws like a doped up crackwhore on heroin!

I’m getting burnt out on running the girls to tennis every flipping day and weekend!

I’m getting further and further behind on MY workouts!

OH! And I’m freaking STARVING!

So on this happy note, have a good Wednesday everyone!

Update:

A coworker just came to my office and commented on the apple I have on my desk.

My reaction: “I AM hungry, but I don’t want the stupid apple! I want a Whataburger Patty Melt or Cancun Grill tacos or even Tampicos enchiladas! I don’t want the apple! I always eat apples!” (this is where I commence to throw my arms up and down like a 2 year-old.)

So, the end of the story…

I am eating the Freaking (with a capital F) APPLE!

BOOBS

2011-07-21T10:44:00.000-05:00

What can I say...half the world has them.

But that is not the point of my post today. Today I am here recommending a product - and NO I am NOT getting paid! (fuckers)

Growing up, I was the last to develop some - um - boobs - in my family. All through high school I had little, perky, sized B cup, perfectly proportioned breasts! I played every sport in the world and didn't have to worry about "bounce".

Understand...mmmkay?

Well low and behold the most wonderful thing that had (up to that point) ever been resulted from Mr. Strong's penis came about - I became pregnant with Kitty.

It wasn't until I experienced TWO pregnancies and births that my breast grew to over a maternity DOUBLE E size during pregnancy and decided to NOT go completely away afterwards!

(WTF? Thanks MOM for those genes! xoxo)

Anyway, this has been the ending result for many years...

If only they would stay this way when I lay down...sigh...

Let me be clear that I am NOT unhappy by any means, but having them has caused some uncomfortable situations.

For example - and the whole reason for my post - RUNNING!

Before children - no bounce.

After children - BOUNCE!!!!!
I have been on the hunt for the perfect sports bra. Meaning, a bra that I can comfortably run in and not be afraid or self conscious by how much I can feel/see them bouncing!

I am going to go ahead and admit this, but usually when I run I have on a MINIMUM of TWO bras to help alleviate any movement. I've tried them ALL - literally!
Well, one day not long ago, I came across a website for "sports bras for the well endowed" and no I don't mean for a man's penis, so I had to research further.

By the time I left the website, I was talked (read) into buying one. I HAD TOO! The thought of running and not feeling a bounce was too strong...I have needs, people!
I bought it - got it expressed shipped to my house - and tried it out for the first time.

My goal was 5 miles...

And, I made that goal easily!!!!

Here it is! My new sports bra from ENELL! I didn't even have to wear my normal bra underneath it!

IT. DOES. WHAT. IT. CLAIMS. TO. DO! PERIOD.

Ohhh La Laaa

I highly recommend this to women who worry about their boobs bouncing all over the place while you exercise! The cost IS WORTH IT!!!!!!!

There you go - my BOOBS post.

Now I have to go get ready for the girls' next tennis tournament tomorrow out of town!

Like always - there is laundry to do!!!

Have a great weekend and I hope you find your way to exercising bounce free!

WTF Wednesday

2011-07-20T10:18:00.001-05:00

So today’s post has no rhyme or reason – it’s just a WTF Wednesday.

Yesterday the girls had tennis lessons, so Doodlebug and I decided to chill in the truck and watch a movie. By the end of the lesson and the VERY end of my patience I began to smell this horrible, mouth watering, gagging reflex smell! It was somewhere between diarrhea, fresh dog shit and sea food?

Yes you read that correctly! Doodlebug decided to shit his pants! WTF? Really? Why me?!

As the lesson ended, the girls took off to run a mile (as previously instructed and before I could yell at them that we needed to leave) while their coach headed my way. (Okay, I am thinking to myself and secretly hoping that he is headed to HIS car because I know that he is going to smell this awful smell as soon as I roll down the window and he is going to think it is me!)

No such luck, he comes to the truck and my mind is racing. The whole time he is talking about the girls’ progression, all I can think about is “please quit talking and go away! My son has had an explosion in his pants and I am about to puke from the smell - I KNOW you can smell it!”

Again, no such luck. The coach is going on and on while Doodlebug is yelling at me “Poop, Mommy, POOP!” All of my attempts to ignore his yelling failed and when I looked back at him, he was holding up a finger covered in shit! WTF!!!????

(I wanted to get out of the truck and run away crying and screaming - nooooo, noooooo, NOOOO.)

I politely kept nodding at what the coach was saying and reached back and cleaned off his finger with a napkin. (By this point I was mortified and the coach was laughing, so I excused ourselves and went to pick up the girls on their run.)

(Oh, and I must have been sending out the most negative energy waves I could think of, because this little fiasco was the most challenging test of my patience so far! Here I am driving down the road to pick up the girls, while yelling at Doodlebug to keep his fingers OUT of his shit – all the while trying not to hurl from the rancid lactose intolerant smell!!!!! )

I get him home, hose him off and leave again to go meet Mr. Strong at the restaurant. When we get to the restaurant, Mr. Strong asked the girls how their lesson went and then looked at me and asked if I ran while they got their lesson because I looked like I had been “really” sweating! WTF???!!!

(Um, no! This is how I always look after I have been barricaded in a vehicle with rotten, mouth watering, eyes tearing up, drool commencing, overpowering, and finger dancing SHIT!!!!!!!!!)

Apparently, I should look very sexy after that – I know…WTF???!!!

The joys of having children…I guess I am learning the hard way what it is like to have a potty training, lactose intolerant, 3-year-old son with no bathrooms in sight!

And get this, through all of my yelling and weak stomach and gagging! he was laughing and happy the whole time!

WTF people???!!! WTF???!!!

WoooooSahhhhh!

(happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!)

Workouts and Tennis

2011-07-18T11:04:00.000-05:00

Kitty won the Championship Tennis match this weekend! WhooHooo!

Also, my WORKOUTS page has been updated!

Finally!

Go ~~work~~ check it out!

A note to remember...

2011-07-07T15:15:00.000-05:00

This picture has nothing to do with this post - I just found my certificate and wanted to PROVE to you all that I did in fact get certified as I did not post it earlier.

I am experiencing a scattered brain moment...please stay tuned.

Good afternoon my pretties!

So, we are getting ready to leave for yet another tennis tournament out of town. I am excited to be leaving and to have some more time off from work - the hotel is calling my name!!!!!!

As with all trips there is packing involved and decisions to be made. What do I wear? Will this fit? Do I need to take extras?

The problem with packing in my household is that there are two additional females with their own opinions.

My 12 and 15 year old daughters are almost as ridiculous as I USED to be! (actually, I learned from them how NOT to be anymore...)

Nothing fits - or it will not fit right after I eat - or I don't want those kind of tan lines - it just goes on and on!

Finally I sat them down and reiterated some of the Secret's Law of Attraction stuff - which by the way, was met with rolling eyes and accommodating nods.

"When you look at yourself and feel dissatisfaction about any part of you, you will continue to attract feelings of dissatisfaction, because the law mirrors back to you exactly what you are holding inside. Be in awe and wonder at the magnificence of you!"

My little speech didn't work, because they resumed (behind their bedroom door - like I couldn't hear...) with "that skirt is too short, too big, not the right color - that shirt is too tight, too big, blah, blah, blah!"

I mean really people - it doesn't get anymore clearer than what I just wrote - right?

I finally told them that I was going to make them play in mu mu dresses to ensure the coverage of all the areas that they were just griping about!

That suggestion didn't work....

So I offered to take them to the school so they could run 5 miles.

That one didn't work either...but it made them laugh!

So here is a note to remember...when you have children, buy them only 5 outfits at the beginning of each school year and you won't have to fight or argue over what fits - they will naturally (subconsciously) stay at the weight needed to fit into those 5 outfits!

Of course this is MY theory.

I should have thought of this sooner as it appears I have passed on my clothing sickness to my daughters - as a result of buying new clothes instead of doing laundry.

Any Therapist out there?

I could be a Foot Model

2011-07-06T16:09:00.001-05:00

Okay here it is...probably the dumbest post I have ever written. Remember a few days ago when I bragged that I totally could be a foot model? And made a mental note to post pics so that every one of y'all could agree? Well here it is...instead of filling you in on all of my 4th of July shenanigans - here are my feet.

Out of all of my body parts, I LOVE (no I mean LOVE) my feet! Most people love their eyes, their hair, their boobs, or even their legs, but NO! I love my feet!

With my feet, I never have to worry about a bad hair day and they NEVER have fat days - which makes shoe shopping all the more fun!

Here we go!

Here they are! My feet - while driving of course. They are not only functional but also beautiful to look at! :-)

They are not gross with toe fungus so I can even tickle Doodlebug with them!

(Yes, I am actually portraying my feet as actors...told you this post was dumb!)

I can write with my feet - or just "pose" like they are writing - oh yeah...my skills are bind-boggling!

I can make them look like they are reading...my toes are in perfect half moon symmetry...sigh...

I can wear the hottest shoes EVER!!!!!! My feet totally make these shoes look better! I was born to wear Jimmy Choo's!

I love wearing thongs - and no I don't mean butt floss - I love wearing summer shoes!

I had to throw in the playful "summer" picture with some really pretty grass (from my front yard). I swear my feet are perfect!

And this post wouldn't be complete without the innocent super model freeze frame with a little summer bling!

Okay people, if you have made it this far, you need to realize that you just read a blog post based solely on my beautiful, model feet! Which makes me realize that I am not the only "desperateforalittleentertainment" person out there!

I might not be a foot model, but dammit I could be!

xoxo

(Please forward this blog on to designers, directors and producers of high-end and very expensive shoes! No need to pay me millions for my beautiful feet - I will work for shoes!)

Mrs. Master Chef

2011-06-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

Okay people, so last night - I cooked.

Yep - food.

What started it all was very innocent. Someone left me the new Pampered Chef order book on my front doorstep and I perused the inside. Here are a few snapshots of what was going through my brain:

"Ohh, measuring cups - I want some of those!"

"Ohh look! Those baking dishes are so neat - I could use some of those too - I can make a pie!"

"WTF is that? Oh I HAVE to that meat tenderizer! It totally looks like a sex toy! That will make "pounding meat" fun!" (ok, I confess to coming back to this page numerous times...couldn't turn my nasty thoughts off. I mean come on people - look at it!)

"Wow! Look at those pans! They are WAYYYYYY expensive - I guess that means they are WAYYYYY better...MMM HUH!"

"I want those square dishes! I have been looking for some exactly like that! I need to get rid of my circle black dishes that I have had for umpteen years! I am soo ordering those!"

"MMMKAY, These ladies make cooking look fun. I need one of those choppers. Mine is shot to hell and the handle is broken. "

See?

"I want to cook something now...hmmmm...what do I have?"

"Let's go with Hamburger Steak and Steamed Veggies."

At about this time, I pulled everything out of the fridge and cabinets to begin my masterpiece!

Here are ALL of the necessary ingredients for cooking a this meal at my house...

Food: check
Wine: check
Cookware: check
Rubber Gloves: check

Yes you read correctly: rubber gloves. I. DO. NOT. TOUCH. RAW. MEAT.

I don't - it's not that I won't or that I can't - I DON'T - period. (You can all Psychoanalyze this for me later and get back with me, mmmkay?)

The 96% lean meat gets mixed with an Onion Mushroom Soup Mix for flavor.

And this is what one perfectly 3.5oz meat patty looks like. (Aprox. 110 calories)

Next it's on to the broccoli and cauliflower - chopped, with a little bit of water, onion powder and pepper for taste - and put into the big red pot that I will pretend like I didn't just take off the store bought price tags and stickers and wash...(about 120 calories with 1 cup of each.)

Yum!

After everything was said and done and the meat was cooked to the point that there was absolutely NO ~~protein~~ pink in the middle:

I got out my finest china (chinette) and made the perfect low calorie - perfectly portioned plate.

Now, I am sure that you all are in AWE of my Master Chef abilities and now want me to author a cook book, but I assure you that I do not have the time for that kind of endeavor. Yes, I know I am breaking some hearts out there and really disappointing the masses - sorry again.

But I am happy to report that this meal was actually liked and eaten by the members of my family and it wasn't because we had absolutely nothing else in the house to eat and it was either this or go to bed hungry.

Bon appétit!

Good son / Bad son and Rated "M" for Mature

2011-06-27T15:13:00.000-05:00

Here I am back to another busy Monday.

This is what has happened since...

We left Friday for the 3rd tennis tournament this summer at 6:00am to get a head start on our 8am check-in ~100 miles away.

All in all it was a great day - well mostly.

You see, MY son Doodlebug is absolutely the perfect angel and best child that you could ever travel with. Unfortunately, Mr. Strong's son Doodlebug is H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! Apparently I took Mr. Strong's son with me on Friday.

The Good son - my son - is quiet, peaceful and loving. He loves to wash his hands after he uses the potty - hence the wet shirt.

The Bad son - Mr. Strong's son - doesn't mind, has selective hearing and hides from me after he decides to shit his pants under the bleachers!

So here I am - in the middle of the tennis tournament - sweat dripping down my nose, frustrated and cleaning Doodlebug's ass in the back of the truck for the world to see - praying that I brought extra clothes! After this little fiasco was resolved I only had to worry about him running onto, screaming and yelling for the girls on the courts - basically disturbing EVERY match that was being played. (Because a 3yr old doesn't understand why HE can't play too!!!)

I finally took him to the truck - turned on the AC and barricaded him in, but I couldn't get him to sit down and watch a movie for nothing! There was no bribe in the world big enough that I could come up with to make him mind!

I can only assume that this was the Universe testing my "practice more patience" journey or else I would have driven home minus one child! (not really - but it was very tempting!)

Overall it was a great day! Kitty took 1st in girls singles and both of the girls took 2nd in girls doubles...yes they actually PLAYED together!

Saturday was a different day - so to all my underage fans out there or sensitive adults - this next section is rated "M" for mature. Please leave now, so I don't proceed to insult your delicate natures.

Thank you for reading this far...

Again, Saturday was a different day. I woke up with the most excruciating headache! I mean, I could tell that "this was going to become a migraine" bad! I made it through an early brunch and was able to accomplish a few things during the early day.

Then Mr. Strong took us out for an early dinner to my FAVORITE restaurant and the pain hit me like a brick - only I wasn't knocked unconscious! I wasn't able to finish the meal and ended up waiting in the truck for everyone else.

As we drove home, the pain behind my eyes was so bad that I became nauseous. Once we pulled into the driveway, I got out and puked my guts out on the side of the house. (Yes, this is gross I know, but for some reason when I experience TRUE pain - my body responds by throwing up! Ewww!)

Anyway, here is another testament as to why I love Mr. Strong to the moon and back. I am puking - he is holding my hair and patting my back. (I couldn't do this for him - if I see or hear puke - I puke - period.)

(Did I mention that I also had to pee on the way home and the violent nature of my stomach contractions while I was puking had my muscles relaxing on the other end and VOILA - I peed myself too! - oh I didn't? well that happened too. shhh)

After I was able to make it inside, Mr. Strong ran me a bubble bath and brought me some migraine medicine.

Awww - he does love me!

After the teeth were brushed and the body was cleaned, I lied down on the bed and covered my eyes to shield out the sunlight and waited for the medicine to kick in.

And waited...

And waited...

A couple of hours later the medicine had not kicked in and of course my overly concerned and loving husband - Mr. Strong - decided to offer me his own medicine - his penis. Yes, Mr. Strong believes that his penis is the cure to all my ailments and never a reason to go without.

Ladies - I was in so much pain, I thought - what the hell! Maybe...? I have read articles and heard from Mr. Strong over and over again that the "release" will ease tension and reduce headaches. Right?

Two orgasms later I am laying in the bed with the pillow over my head again to block out the sunlight thinking to myself "that fucker lied!"

My head still hurt! And when I called him on his bullshit - mumbling from under the pillow - you know what he did?! He lifted my shirt and gave me raspberries on my stomach! Yes, he kept blowing on my stomach making fart noises and I haven't laughed so hard in months!

The funny thing is, the sex didn't relieve my headache, but the laughter definitely eased it! Or maybe the medicine decided to kick in...???????

Sunday was better for me. We took the kids to see Cars 2. Loved it!

I also learned that even though Mr. Strong will hold my hair and rub my back while I am puking, run me a bubble bath after I pee on myself, bring me medicine, and offer his penis out of unselfish love, he WILL NOT willing share his movie theater popcorn! I mean he did - but the look that I got when I reached in for a second bite was like a 3yr old about to have a temper tantrum because I touched HIS popcorn!

Seriously people - I love that man!

Sparkle

2011-06-23T10:16:00.001-05:00

This morning was spent watching the sunrise again while the girls played tennis and Doodlebug watched Cars for the 50th time.

LOVE the smell of fresh morning air while the sprinklers are bringing life to everything they touch!

I love getting up in the mornings - believe it or not - I'm sure Mr. Strong just choked on something, but the reality is, it puts me in a great mood that lasts throughout the day.

(Excuse me I have to go give Mr. Strong the Heimlich maneuver - seems he got all choked up on my comment...)

And yes, I just Googled how to spell Heimlich...

Anywhoozle

As proof that I am in such a good mood this morning I decided that I would wear some SPARKLE to work today.

See...

Total HOTNESS!

My feet NEVER have fat days.

Matter of fact, I could sooooo be a foot model! I have very, very pretty feet! (toot-toot)

I should write a post and send you all pictures so that you can agree too! (mental note: take pics of your feet for your fans...)

So tell me, what is your favorite body part?

Food Page is Up!

2011-06-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

My Food page is up and running now!

Bon Appétit!

Today...Tomorrow

2011-06-21T10:52:00.000-05:00

Today you still have the opportunity to read my first year in Blogland.

Tomorrow? well once my release day hits - no more Year 1. You will just have to buy the book!

And can I write that it is absolutely fabulous!

My biased opinion of course...

;-)

STOP THE PRESS!

2011-06-16T14:20:00.000-05:00

OMG! STOP THE PRESS!

NO WAIT!

DON"T STOP THE PRESS!

I am officially published!!!!!!

YAY! (Doing the cabbage patch, running man, running man - riding the pony...YEEHAW!)

Here is my sleek and sexy new book!

Simple, Elegant, Perfect!

Black of course goes with every decor - not to mention all the Feng Shui meanings of the color black - and the Sunrise is the perfect picture to express my NEW BEGINNINGS!

This year when I wrote this post I expected to publish another book. It is funny how things work out.

It couldn't be more perfect! Thoughts DO become things!

Everything is Energy and Energy is Limitless!

The giddy school girl in me can't quit smiling! That's why I took this picture - like with my face in it and everything!

Of course I immediately called Mr. Strong and then sent him this picture! Instead of the initial congratulations - and being that he has a penis - I got this reply instead "your te'ta's look great!" (yes, really!)

I want EVERYONE to experience the feelings I do now!

Eeeeeeeeee!

Another Beautiful Sunrise

2011-06-16T10:40:00.000-05:00

Today started at around 5:30. The girl's had tennis lessons at 7am at the Country Club and can I write...the weather was absolutely beautiful! There was a cool breeze while the sun came up and the lessons went great! Doodlebug and I watched a movie in the truck and then I let him chase a rabbit around the clubhouse. FUN!

Did I mention the weather was beautiful? It's going to be like 112 degrees today, so I'm glad I got my "outside" time in early. Being out in the fresh morning air with the cool breeze and the sprinklers going made me miss running in the morning! Yes! you read correctly! I MISS running in the morning!

My workouts have been a hit and miss lately, but I have been "pretty" strict on my food. This weekend? well it will be occupied by another tennis tournament starting at 8am tomorrow. In between matches, I promise to try to get all of my new pages up top written.

It was such a beautiful morning and it put me in a great mood. I would like to share another Secret video for a few of my fans. There are some people out there right now struggling to make ends meet. There are some people out there that are depressed and down about their life's circumstances and financials woes. You know who you are...I leave today in an attempt to give these particular fans HOPE! Hope and KNOWING that things will be better.

The magnificent Rhonda Byrne writes on her web page just above this video that EVERY time you watch The Secret to Riches, read every word and focus your energy and feelings to magnetize abundance into your life. The more you can feel, the more power you will add to bring abundance to you.

We were all meant to HAVE, BE and DO ANYTHING we want in this life! May we ALL wake up to another beautiful sunrise!

Travel Page

2011-06-14T13:42:00.002-05:00

My Travel Page has been updated...enjoy!

To New Beginnings

2011-06-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

Hello?!

Anybody there?!

I'm in here somewhere!!!

Hello?!

See this is what happens when I take off on a Friday for the weekend and come back to work on Monday!
This is what happens in ONE day! I am trying to play catch-up.

The good thing is that today has flown by! Whooo Hoooo!

This past weekend was and will be like almost every weekend this summer. It will start out with a Friday and Saturday tennis tournament for the girls with cool temperatures around the following:

YIKES! Sweat mustaches and crack lines are NOT cool!

Then it will be spent recovering on a Sunday while trying to catch up with laundry. OR, if we have a "tennis tournament" weekend off, maybe we will go out of town to shoot some more. OR, maybe we will take a trip to New York or...I'm thinking...VEGAS!

I don't know...

But I do know that however we choose to spend our weekends - it is going to be one hell of a summer!

On a side note, I'm trying to practice more patience too ------- as part of my conscious living journey.

For all you that just laughed out loud - yes - wish me luck!

I will be filling out my pages up top to help better explain my new Year 2 attitude, so hopefully you will join me this year in conscious living!

Days 361-365 The end of Year 1 and the Star of the Show!

2011-06-08T10:26:00.000-05:00

Today is Kiki's birthday AND the last day of Year 1!

Happy Birthday Kiki! I love you!

Awwww - tear :'''''(

My baby girl is growing up into a beautiful young lady!

Stay young at heart forever!

I am trying hard to get my new design up for Year 2 - you might have noticed some changes?

It is going to be AWESOME!

These last few days have been very busy at work!

Luckily, Mr. Strong and I was able to participate in another charity shoot this weekend to ease some of my stress. (there's nothing like shooting a shotgun to take away some pent-up frustration!)

There was a great turnout!

They raised a lot of money for a very deserving charity!

Of course we had a blast! The kids joined us - well Doodlebug was the Star of the Show and the girls, well? they stayed in the air conditioned truck watching movies.

Hmmmm? I wonder which one is Mr. Strong? Oh yeah - the one with the gigantic arms! "Who loves you baby?"

Doodlebug talked a lady sheriff into giving him a badge too. He is such a flirt!

That look was after I told him to stay away from my gun...his response? "DUH!!!" My son is a genius!

Hey Doodlebug, whatcha doing? "Nothing - it's hot - waiting for Daddy!" Are you comfortable? "Yes Ma'am!"

"Mommy take my picture! Mommy Daddy's here! Mommy - CHEESE!"

Doodlebug had so much fun - can I write...he is ALLL BOYYYY! There was a thick layer of dirt on him from head to toe. For some reason he gets a kick of jumping to the ground off the Polaris and falling in the dirt - over and over again!

It was a great day, so after the charity event we headed to the hotel.

Five minutes upon arriving our room looked like a tornado hit it!

Cold air on high? Check! 20 minutes and 55 degrees later - awwwwwww!

It wasn't long before we left to go eat dinner - only to return to the pool!

He is fearless - absolutely - terrifyingly fearless! He spent 1.5 hours jumping off the side into the pool!

After swimming and after a shower he came running out of the bathroom like this! Mr. Strong and I are raising Cupid!

Again, it was a great weekend - leading into a busy workweek.

Today?

Today is the end of Year 1.

Today is the culmination of a year of successful learning, teaching, and living out loud. tear :''(

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow is the beginning of Year 2.

Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will be on the Road Less Traveled - oh boy...

Tomorrow the new "hardcore" adventure begins - my journey in conscious living guided by the Law of Attraction.

Why not, right?

We only get one life - why not LIVE every minute of it?!

What will your tomorrow bring?

Day 360 - By the way!

2011-06-03T10:31:00.002-05:00

I will get around to editing yesterday's post to elaborate on all the fun stuff we did - but until then...

Today is different.

Today is about June being my 1 year anniversary month! YAY!!!!!

Next week brings the end to my first year and the beginning of year 2!

I'm VERY excited!!!!!!

By the way, since June is my anniversary month and I have been slacking on my workouts, I decided that I (and the girls) would get in 10 miles EVERY DAY! Oh yeah - you read that right - 10 OMG FREAKING MILES!

So, I am officially 2 full days behind, but the good thing is, is that the 10 miles EVERY DAY will include running, cycling and any other machine that clocks distance! (I'm hoping to catch up the miles on the bike!)
It's crackdown time! The Drill Sergeant is back biatches!

I will probably look like this most of the time:

SUPER SEXY HUH?

I expect this is going to be one crazy summer!

One of the best!

This is for Amanda's comment! lol!

I love casual Friday's! A break from wearing suits! Yay!

Days 353 - 359 Life is good!

2011-06-02T09:52:00.000-05:00

I don't have a lot of time today to write about the great fun we had this past week --- I'm now trying to play "catch-up" at work.

You know how that is...

So here are some pictures which are worth more words than I could write today.

Enjoy!

Every morning started with the most beautiful sunrise!

Then it was followed by fun on the water at my sister's house on the lake!

Her pool is AWESOME! And convenient for the little ones or when the boats and jetski's are full! Her guest house is located right off of the pool so it is convenient for the little ones to take a nap in the cool air while remaining close!

Her 6 bd/4bth home overlooking the lake (when it has water...) is MY ideal vacation spot!

Doodlebug had the best time riding the waves!

There's nothing like watching the kids tube and have fun!

Mr. Strong had to pull in the jetski's to refill with gas! Good times!

Just enough shade and the perfect location on the lake to make the 108 degree weather tolerable!

This is her tennis court located next to her house. We played a little, but the heat was a little too much!

---Followed by fun at her ranch! There was so many things to ride around and see, play and do! Totally relaxing!

The Ranch House

Good friends and fun times!

The Texana Ranch! There was an off road competition being hosted at their motorcycle camp - I've never seen so many "jacked-up" jeeps! Very cool!

Memories!

Then every night was met with the most beautiful sunset!

And a LOT of cocktails!

There's nothing like celebrating a long holiday weekend with 100 of the closest strangers you'll ever meet!

Life is good!!!!!!

Day 352 Change is coming!

2011-05-25T09:23:00.000-05:00

Little by little, as my 1 year blogiversary approaches, you will start to notice some changes!

I have a new direction...

I have profound motivation...

I have YOU!

Thanks for sticking with me through the ups and downs, having direction and getting lost!

Change is coming!

Yay!

EEEEEEEEHHH!

Muah! Muah!

Days 344-351 - "...light at the end of the tunnel..."

2011-05-24T09:40:00.000-05:00

This past week has been very emotional and turbulent filled! I have had some time to meditate and really soul search why my negativity about a certain something/someone was boiling over.

At one point I posted on Facebook for the Universe to show me a sign and boy did I get one! Not only did I get the most appropriate sign, but I got a little extra one too. You see, on one of the days my eyes were filled with tears and (like always) I was still at work. And then the strangest thing happened, someone came into my office, pulled a (Law of Attraction) book off my shelf and asked "You made me believe in this, where is this woman? where is this belief?" And in an instant they were gone...

I was shocked because I am not close to this person and we don't work in the same department. I was shocked because they were right. Light bulb turning on - bell ringing "Hello?" - right!

It took me until the next day (sleep helped) to really begin changing my perspective. I began to read my old posts - looking for some inspiration - I knew "that woman" was in me somewhere.
Not long ago I wrote this post... and realized that my joy came from helping others. Helping people succeed and connect to life.

And then stumbled back upon this post... where the road less traveled by was the direction I needed to take (oops - took a detour and haven't made it back yet...effing road construction), and the very last paragraph struck my heart and gave me chills.

I needed to read them again - I needed something positive.

I am verging on my 1 year blogiversary and I don't want to venture into year 2 undecided with my intentions. I have a lot of plans for year 2 and am very excited to share those with you in a few weeks.

Looking back over the entire year's posts, I felt happiest when I was writing everyday. Then life happened and work happened and stress happened and I lost focus on my own dreams and my writings became less frequent.

I apologize to all my fans for this...

Just know that in this very moment, I am consciously making changes to be the example to live by. In this very moment, I am consciously choosing to live the life I want and deserve. I see a light at the end of the tunnel now.

I just pray that all that negativity doesn't come crashing down on me at once where I look like the Wicked Witch under Dorothy's house from the Wizard of Oz! I know I will get back the negativity that was sent out - The Law of Attraction states this - I just hope it sprinkles a few drops at a time.

Fingers crossed!

Days 340-343 EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

2011-05-16T11:16:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!!!!!!

Do you see that?

Okay, so maybe it doesn't quite line up like I wanted it too - but look up a little to the right...

THERE IT IS!

Yes, that little SHOP NOW link!

Hooray!!!!!!! EEEEEEK! Shrills of excitement fill the air!

I finally have merchandise and today I am unabashedly promoting my potential sales!

(Oh yeah! Doing the cabbage patch - It's my birthday - blowing out the candles...oh yeah)

Since I am verging upon my 1 year blogiversary, I thought I would go ahead and add my new store...there might be prizes later! Yay!

Shocking as it may sound, but I do not plan to become a millionaire from this store. Nope, in fact I make about a $1 for every sale - lol - not kidding. But I don't care, because I want to see you wearing your support for life and for yourself!

WE

ARE

AWESOME!

(although I will not become a millionaire, I might become a new home owner and a thousandaire if - I don't know - say the first 50,000 people buy one shirt? What do you think? Wanna help? Buy, forward, copy and send at your heart's content! Please and thank you!)

And NO! Dreams, wishes, possibilities and desperation have no limits!

:-)

Days 338 & 339 - "Sometimes you just have to dance..."

2011-05-12T13:13:00.000-05:00

Where to begin on a day like this?

Well, yesterday I spent most of the day at home with Kiki. She had the stomach bug and slept most of the day while I got "somewhat" caught up on laundry. It was a ho-hum day for me. I was still sulking from the day before and the fact that Mr. Strong wasn't available to go pick Kiki up was frustrating.

Then...

Then I watched Lady Gaga's Monster Ball on HBO. (can you say...ASSTASTIC!)

Then I watched another inspirational movie with the message of "no matter what life brings your way, sometimes you just have to dance..."

Both shows put me in a better mood yesterday, but last night I fell - a little bit - back into a slump.

This morning I got on the scale and VOILA! My good mood returned! Oh yeah baby!

It has been busy here at work and while I was on my lunch break running errands for work, I decided to tan.

15 minutes of MEEEEEEE time!

I walked into the tanning salon and was given the room of my preference...oh yeah...even better mood!

The music was blaring and as I shut the door behind me? Tone Loc's Funky Cold Medina came on! Oh yeah baby! Old school like a mofo!

I start undressing - dancing to whole song! All I needed was a stripper pole and I would have been set! Of course my body is moving and popping and locking and dropping it like it's hot! I checked a few times to make sure I locked the door and when the part of the song came on where he says "BREAK IT DOWNNNN!" ? My ass was AWESOME! (you'll just have to take my word for it...)

Oh yeah! This white girl can dance! I had my clothes off, my body all lotioned up and my out of control boobs handled before the song was over!

Forget about the cabbage patch and running man - this song called for some old school ass shaking!

By the time (all of 2-1/2 minutes) the song was over and I was laying down on the bed, panic took over.

Oh shit! What if there are secret hidden cameras in here!? What am I going to do when the world sees my dancing belly, boobs and naked ass on You Tube?! Then I thought to myself - "I can sue and by default get my new house and drinks poolside..."

Okay, panic over.

Sometimes you just have to dance...

Day 337 - I just want to cry...

2011-05-10T13:59:00.000-05:00

Some days I feel on top of the world...

Some days I feel inspired and inspirational...

Some days I feel motivated and energized...

Some days I feel sleepy and lazy...

Some days I feel discouraged and frozen...

Some days I feel withdrawn...

Some days - like today - I just want to cry.

Blame it on whatever you want, but today I can't find my positive perspective. I'm in a slump people! and refuse to self-medicate on anything but my writing.

It is very busy at work and while I was on my lunch break waiting in line at the bank (for work!) I couldn't help but think that "it has to get better!"

____________________________________

Kitty texted me this morning and asked if I could go pick her up from school because she has a sinus headache and her throat hurts. I told her I was busy and to text/ask Mr. Strong. She replied with "he's probably busy." I dismissed that comment and told her to at least TRY to see if he was available. You know what her response was?

"Never mind, I'll stay here"

Really?! WTF?!

So her ass is still at school!

_____________________________________

I have worked my butt off to get to where I am in my professional career.
That being written, today proved - AGAIN - that no matter how much I do for my position or anyone else's - I will never be appreciated for my work or thought of as the professional that I am (probably because I have a vagina, and an opinion!) by the person that it affects most. Grrrr!

_____________________________________

Still waiting on the lottery gods and the money fairy to bless me beyond the point of being IRS debt free while I enjoy cocktails at the poolside of my new house.

_____________________________________

Still wondering if I will ever get a new house or at least the one I have - cleaned and de-cluttered.

Sadly, I should have already had this done, but spending my weekends and weekdays working on my house has really escalated this slump I'm in. I'm sick of it and I have 3 children that contribute to a constant mess. I don't want to do anything anymore because I am the only one doing anything!

What is wrong with wanting to only work during the week while the kids are in school and taking vacations on the weekends? Hmm? Anybody?
______________________________________

I have no social life - none. I am hoping in my new house to have a large enough "entertaining" area to change this, but "where's the new house?" Ugh! I have a small select group of friends that I can actually stand to be around, but I am the type of person that can't stand "fake" (except maybe my future new boobs...), or for people to ask me questions because they are nosey and not out of concern, or - believe it or not - to be in a crowded room with strangers - HATE. IT.

I am your one-of-a-kind: extroverted anti-socialite!

______________________________________

In 5 weeks the girls will start their summer tennis "tour" and while I wrote out that check this morning - I can't help but think "they don't deserve it". Fortunately for them, I am looking to escape to life and this might be my only shot! Tennis tournament after tennis tournament - every weekend - some weekdays - 100+degree heat - BUT - the swimming pools and hotels will keep me going!

______________________________________

Still thinking...there has to be more to life...

Days 333-336 Stop Playing Games

2011-05-09T10:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had a wonderful Mother’s Day! So, to all you mother’s out there – I hope you had one too!

You all know that I am working on my New Year’s Resolution to have 6-pack abs by the end of this year. For about 2 months, I was gung-ho and completely dedicated to fulfilling this goal as soon as possible.

Workouts – check

Eating RIGHT – check

6-pack abs – Oh yeah! On the way baby!

(doing the cabbage patch – running man – running man – burning those calories…oh yeah)

Then….

Yesterday ended a culmination of 2-1/2 weeks of “slacking”. Yes, I will be the first to admit this…

I can give you every excuse in the world: stress, hormones, work, family, house hunting, house renovating, depression and what seems like never ending house chores. Dare I go on?

Anyway, I have gained back 6lbs! That might not be much to any of you out there, but it has taken me 2 months to lower my body fat percentage and lose the healthy weight that it is going to take me to accomplish my goal and VOILA! 2-1/2 weeks of slacking and I feel miserable.

I feel like I have let myself down again – now looking for quick fixes and an easy one week unhealthy 6lb weight loss just so that I can write that I have maintained my weight throughout my binge! Ugh!

But, who am I kidding?

Did I have fun and eat mounds of great fattening food and plenty of cocktails? Hell yes! BUT, the enjoyment was short lived by a protruding stomach and constant worry over what the food and drinks are doing to my scale weight. The fun and enjoyment was accompanied with doubt, guilt and self-acknowledgment that I was eating wayyyyy toooooo much! So even though the food tasted really, really, really good – it made me miserable!

Apparently I haven’t learned about/exercised enough my self-control. Food and drink should be celebratory every now and again while you maintain a healthy lifestyle. Food and drink should not be celebratory every day and then diet every now and again to counter act the bad choices.

Right? Hello? Anyone?

I will be the first to admit truth to Kate Moss’s statement and probably get hate mail for writing this, but “nothing taste as good as thin feels!”

NOTHING

NADA

ZILCH

Nothing tastes as good as putting on your pants and not worrying about sucking in or having a muffin top.

Nothing tastes as good as feeling sexy and comfortable about the few belly rolls you have because they are not filled or bloated with unhealthy gassy food choices.

Nothing tastes as good as lounging in your comfortable clothes and having your husband put his arms around you and you don’t worry about sucking in or telling him to stop because you don’t want him grabbing onto any fat.

“THIN” is a state of mind, in my opinion. My body is NOT perfect and I still have about 30 more pounds to lose, but when I was eating healthier I noticed I didn’t worry about my gut, my belly rolls, or ANY of my imperfections because they were not bloated and overstuffed with the delicious, yummy, greasy bad food choices! There was no guilt, no worry or no doubt accompanying my breakfast, lunch or dinner. Again, I am not perfect, but I felt sexier and more confident than I do today after my 2-1/2 weeks binge!

It’s very sad to write that I have passed on my eating habits to my girls. Because I was letting myself slack over the last 2-1/2 weeks, I let them slack too. This weekend after another gas bloating, over-eaten meal, the girls tried on tennis outfits for this summer’s tour. Although Kitty has been keeping up with 3-4 hours workouts 5 days a week between the gym and school – Kiki is only getting 75 minutes in at the gym and 15 minutes at recess 5 days a week. (And the gym has only been recent!)

Kiki had some emotional moments while trying on clothes and it broke my heart! So as you all and the Universe is my witness, I swear that I will do everything within my power to help her lose her belly and raise her self-confidence beyond this galaxy!

She needs my help – period. The girls look to me for guidance and what they have been guided to has been a 2-1/2 weeks free-for-all food fest!

Shame on me! It’s my fault – it is always my fault – I am the leader…

I want to introduce Kiki to “nothing tastes as good as thin feels!”

Kitty has felt this feeling and learned from it – It’s time for me to quit playing games with my life and my goals – It’s time for me to teach Kiki – It’s time to find that road less traveled again!

I wish nothing but guilt free choices and a long and healthy life for you all!

Blessings!

Days 324-332 Escape to Life

2011-05-05T09:41:00.001-05:00

Hello my friends!

I have a question for you...

Have you ever wanted to escape to life?

You know, escape to living or feeling alive? Like escaping to a luxury hotel for the weekend and watching the kids swim while you enjoy a cocktail. Taking pictures of their laughter and innocent fun - making a memory...

That's where I am right now.

We finally received our "payment plan" to the IRS...blahhhh - ughhhhhh. Can I just write that Obama's new tax bracket for those people that make over $250,000 completely and totally BLOWS big green donkey (fill in the blank)! Another way to get the middle class to PAY FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S TAX BURDENS!

I digress...

Well? we haven't finished or put our house on the market yet. I was hoping that I would find the house that I couldn't live without and it would prompt me to action, but it has not happened yet. (there IS one house...I hope it waits for me...)

Anyway, back to my subject for this post...escaping to life...

I come to work everyday. I sit in this big office all by my lonesome with very little interaction with people throughout my days. Even when I am sitting through another meeting there is still little interaction. Day in and day out my routine and my life is basically isolated in the "what can I do for everyone else" mentality.

I love my job and the money I make - NOT complaining! But, what has gotten to me lately is the fact that I feel like I am trapped in a situation where I KNOW it could be better!

I have three beautiful children, Mr. Strong and the perfect job, but all of these together are not filling the "life" gap that I am experiencing.

Why am I complaining when I am so blessed, you ask?

Well because sometimes (like now) I feel that I should be living more. I feel that my life shouldn't only consist of work, mommy will you bring me this, mommy will you take me here, honey did you pay that or filling my weekends with laundry & housework; it should also consist of weekend getaways, picnics and all the stuff that memories are made of...right?

I mean, we dont' take pictures and remember the chores, or the isolation or the cancellations because of work - we look back and remember the times and events we enjoyed and experienced in between!

I don't know...maybe I'm having a moment, or maybe I want to have more moments. I just have to hold on to hope that there is more life and living to do out there!

Going through the motions and being fully consumed with a life consisting of work, chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, and laundry - repeat - is NOT living at all.

My 1 year blogiversary is coming up! June 9th!

ONE YEAR!!!!!

I don't know how I've almost made it through this first year, but I can tell you all that change is coming!

Dun-ta-duhhhh!

Change for the better...absolutely inspiring...change for life!

Thank you all for sticking with me.

I'm going to escape to life!!!!!!

Day 323 - Happy Birthday Mr. Strong!!!!!

2011-04-26T14:21:00.000-05:00

Today the man I have been with for 17 years turns...

Oops - sorry - I'm not supposed to tell you that he is OLDer than me! But, he is veryyyyyy close to 40 now!

And as long as he stays looking this good, we might make it another 17.

Let's face it, the whole men are from Mars and women are from Venus shiaz it BS. Really, the whole situation is reversed. Men are the emotional creatures - they get all upset and emotional if they don't have clean socks, underwear or can't find something. Women are the simple creatures - all we want is a yummy body and someone to buy us the things we want (notice I did not write "need").

So as long as Mr Strong stays yummy and rich he will have my everlasting dying devotion and love!

Just playing honey! You know I love you!

Anywhoozle

In honor of Mr Strong's birthday celebration today (which I wasn't invited to over lunch...just saying.) there are a few people that would like to give a speech:

Doodlebug

Dear Daddy,
Thank you for my new boots! I now have new boots like you. I will wear them with everything - including shorts and naked! I love my new boots! I can't really run in them yet and they are a little big, but I will soon be big like you and know how! Daddy, thank you for everything that you have taught me all these 3 years! I love spanking mommy on the butt to make her mad. I love wresting with you and soon I will be able to shoot guns with you - pow! pow! But most importantly, thank you for saving my life the other day out at Windwalkers! I really appreciated you yelling "don't pee into the wind son!" Whewww! That was a really close one! In honor of your birthday daddy, I got you these lizards out of my easter eggs! You can't have them - they're mine - but I will let you look at them for about 5 seconds before I throw a fit because I love you daddy! Happy Birfday!

Rrrrrrr! Rrrrrrr! Rrrrrrr!

Kiki

Dear Dad,
I want to thank you for....um....um....I want to thank you for um....um...um...
I want to thank you for not getting mad at me when we had a food fight the other day at that restaraunt and I threw a tomato and it landed on your head. It took about 5 seconds before you wiped it off and it was really funny! Thank you for supporting me and reminding me every day that I need to make better choices with my food and tummy. Thank you for always being a dad that will bust my butt if I do wrong. More importantly, thank you for being the kind of dad that will play with us even when most of the times it is in public and we are throwing food or spitballs and mommy gets mad. Thank you for acting MY age and playing with me. I was going to buy you a present but remember that one time, that you made me eat all those Jalapenos and I did and then you paid me? Well I put the money on my dresser and now it is gone! Kitty swears she doesn't know what happened to it, but she has money and I don't. Remember that one time I bought her something and she was going to pay me back...well she hasn't...but I love you daddy, Happy Birthday!

Kitty

Dear Dad,
Thank you for letting me be daddy's little girl. Thank you for allowing mom to always have money when she refuses to buy me stuff with hers. (Like the tennis raquet...) Thank you for being the perfect combination of hard and soft. Thank you for questioning my friends and keeping boys so far away that I might as well be gay, by taking off your shirt and cleaning your guns out on the front porch. Thank you for letting me get away with more stuff than I should, but also thank you for your discipline and old-fashioned ways too. I know I am special because I am your first born and because you favor me over the other two because you love me more, so I wanted to give you this present. It is a keychain that reads World's Best Dad. Well? Because you are the world's best dad! I know I have money to spend, but remember the other day when you let me and Kiki go to the movies and you paid because mom wouldn't because we didn't "earn" it? Well, I won this keychain in honor of your generosity and felt that this present was the most appropriate for your special day today! Happy Birthday dad! I love you!

Drill Sergeant

Sweetie pie, honey, dear. Thank you for being a great dad and a loving husband. Thank you for having a good sense of humor and allowing me to post some of the craziness that I write. You are my strength, you are my rock and you are my insanity! (yes, you make me crazy...)

Thank you for being faithful (like you have a choice...) around all my hotass friends.

And finally thank you for wearing a bright pink lifesaver around your neck to support our family and charities! You seriously are one of the last standing good men!

Mr. Strong

I love you beyond the words I write...
~~I love you to the looney bin and back... oops~~
I love you to the moon and back...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

(NOTE: I will be reposting this for Father's Day with the "happy birthday's" removed.)

;-)

Days 316-322 Squishy and Wet!

2011-04-25T14:33:00.000-05:00

First, let me write that Easter break was great! We had a wonderful time and it was nice to see family and friends!

Unfortunately, not much has changed on the list of "to do's"! But, who cares?!

Don't get me wrong...I haven't lost my motivation, I have just adopted the positive attitude that "everything shall be accomplished and will come to me at the perfect time in the perfect way..."

Okay, now for today's real post...

Sometimes you just have to suck it up in life and do what has to be done! Sometimes you just have to put on the big girl panties, close your eyes and jump feet first.

Today was that day for me. Today was THE day. Today was my yearly exam...ughhhh.

To all you men out there, this is NOT something we like to experience!

Step 1. Wait for a short time in the waiting room only to be shown to a room, told to undress, so you can wait for an hour naked with Kleenex paper covering what little areas you can creatively use to form around your naked body in the coldest room ever!

So I am waiting there and my stomach is nervous like always - like I could explode with earth shattering diarrhea nervous! Then I do the pre-self evaluation.

Hygiene: check
Grooming: check
Pedicure: check
Self Confidence: waiting outside the door until my clothes can be put back on.

Finally the doctor and nurse come in and the small talk commences and lasts all through the examination - like that really takes my mind off of what is happening! Well maybe a little...

Step 2: Act calm and collective and answer any questions the doctor has with loooooong drawn out explanations in order to delay the next phase.

Step 3: Lie down while trying to keep all pertinent body parts covered with Kleenex paper and take some mental notes during the examination: 1. I should have had that boob job... 2. by the way he is pushing on my abdomen, I am not as far along on my six-pack abs as I thought... 3. I need some lotion...

Step 4: Pretend that I didn't hear the doctor ask me to move to the end and insert my feet into the stirrups. (What? I thought we were done - damn! Silently act mad that I didn't scoot far enough to hang my naked ass off the bench and scream at the nurse to quit staring at my Vajayjay!) I wonder what that image really is...in that particular position, what exactly does the doctor see? Hmmm? One of these days I will find out...don't ask how.

Step 5: Commence with the lube, medical instruments and the appropriately titled Papsmear! Then commence the final ovarian, uterine and cervical exams! And, pray to the Universe that I don't fart or poop through any of it!

That's wayyyy sexy huh?

When it was over and I could finally get dressed, I was left with longing for a hug or something.

Not really, just kidding.

Actually, all I was left with was squishy and wet. Nothing like being squishy and wet and having to go back to work! Ewww!

BUT, on my way back and to help reduce the OVEREXPOSURE I just experienced, I went and tanned. Yep, getting naked because I want to!

There's nothing like a little artificial sunlight with heels on!

It made me feel a little sexier than Kleenex paper and mental notes!

Whoooooo Sahhhhhhhh!

Days 309-315 Let's Catch Up!

2011-04-18T10:34:00.000-05:00

Hello world!

I thought it was about time that we get acquainted again, so let's catch up!

1. New House: it's still out there somewhere! And I hope that we get our "issues" worked out quickly, because we received another notice in the mail for ANOTHER out-of-state sex offender that moved into our AREA. This totally sucks and I don't think these people should be allowed to live within 10 miles of ANY school! (Go back to your state!!!)

2. Current House: it's still under renovation and decluttering. This totally sucks too because I still feel all alone in the process. The girls are about to be AWARDED only 1 weeks worth of clothing. I am so tired of the mounds of laundry and piles of crap! (yes, it's my fault, I know) I feel that if they can't help me keep their room "show" ready, then they have too much stuff - period!

3. Work: let me just write that my workload is NOT decreasing, but my frustrations ARE increasing! I need to leave this subject alone and go meditate...whoooooosaaaaaah....

4. Life: it is completely busy, but now that we are closer to the end of school, it is getting much easier!

Kitty:

This was her LAST tennis tournament of the year. She played mixed doubles and her and her partner took 1st place!!!! Varsity here we come next year! I'm so proud!

Kiki:

This was her LAST orchestra concert of the year! She has played soooo awesome!

Kiki is located waaaaaay over there -----^^^^^^^!

Doodlebug:

Way too cute to give away!

Kiki's concert was extremely crowed!!!! They made all the parents sit on one side = not enough room! This is how Doodlebug acted...

During the upbeat songs he was all attentive and captivated. Unfortunately for my patience, those songs didn't last long! Ugh! Once those songs were over, this is what happened...

Hey mommy?! You can't see meeeeeeee!!!

Look mommy! Look mommy! Look mommy!

Mommy, mommy, mommy! Watch this! Watch this!

MOMMY! MOMMY! I SEE YOU! WHERE AM I MOMMY? YOU CAN'T SEE ME!

Needless to say he was bored and I was about to have a nervous breakdown trying to get him to be quite and sit down when Mr. Strong arrived...

PLEASE.
TAKE.
HIMMMMMM!

Then...

MOMMY! MOMMY! KITTY! KITTY! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!

Finally Mr. Strong had to take him outside, which didn't bother him that much because he TOO was talking - business on his phone! Shish!

Now that I have a little breathing room and some flexibility in my weekly schedule (no more kid's practices!) I have started training the girls. They are officially (last week) in training to complete the Marine Corps Youth Physical Fitness Challenge! Oh yeah baby! The Drill Sergeant is back!!!!!

My babies! I'm glad they can walk off the campus and still love me for being hard on them! :-)

As for me, I am "officially" down 22lbs (the food and wine last week and throughout our trip added a couple lbs back...) I 'm still happy though! Since January - well really the end of February - I have cut down 8% body fat and you can start to see my Transverse Abs/External Obliques forming the desired V shape. Yes, I still have a lot of work to do, but I am determined to meet my New Year's Resolution!

I will get there!!!!!

Matter of fact! I was going to keep my lazy butt at home yesterday, but I went to the gym and cycled 20 miles instead! I felt great for making that decision! And really that is all this whole journey is...making one positive decision at a time in order to be successful!

Are you still on track toward your resolutions or goals?

Days 305-308 Back to Reality

2011-04-11T15:41:00.000-05:00

I have no point or purpose for today's post.

I just felt like I needed to break out the keyboard and start typing.

I am an emotional tornado right now. I am in limbo between "I am such a lucky person!" and "Am I really happy?"

Yes, I sit here at my computer and type away in hopes that my fingers will create a soothing, energy release because I am in desperate need of "something".

Mr. Strong would say that I am in desperate need of a shot of "petercillian", but that is another story...

I'm working on meditating more.

I'm working on finding balance again.

It just seems that since my studio location was given away to another business and I began all of this house renovation, house hunting, house building, the kids need this, the kids want that, where in the crapballs is Mr. Strong, and work's end of year (so do freaking everything), that I have lost myself in the detour I am on - and I don't want any of it - anymore...

Then...

Kitty placed 2nd in her doubles tennis tournament this weekend - we missed Mr. Strong's brother's wedding, (but in my defense, since we only had 5 days notice, Kitty just couldn't bail on her doubles partner because then she wouldn't have been able to play in the tournament...her coach would have been furious since you are supposed to let them know at the beginning of the season if you can't make any of the tournaments, blah, blah, blah...his brother doesn't have a lot to do with the kids anyway...this SHOULD be understandable, right?), and after a very heated argument between Mr. Strong and I, I took the kids away for the night this weekend while he went to a shoot. I discovered all over again how good my life is. The kids had so much fun this weekend. It was a stress free couple of days - well almost, Doodlebug was very close to being gagged and duct-taped to his stroller while we were in the mall - but other than that, we had a lot of relaxing fun.

Then...

Back to reality on the drive home. Back to the mounting frustrations over what we will do about our "new house" situation. Back to our "the deadline's looming" taxes. Back to the decision making over what we should do to our house before it goes on the market. Back to the cleaning before the maid comes. Back to the kids messy rooms, laundry, and work.

Like I wrote...back to reality.

I'm trying desperately to turn my mind off for 15 minutes to recuperate without the help of a bottle of wine or Advil PM!

Any suggestions?

With the stress of everything that has been going on, I have lost some weight. On this note, I will start back running this week. I haven't ran since January because of my asthma, sickness or the 100 mile/hour wind we have had every day since. I'm sure I will be sore and passed out on the side of the treadmill or road, but rest assured - I will get over it!

I just hope my endorphins return!

Days 298-304 WhoooooSaaaaaah!

2011-04-07T11:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, for how long now have I been preaching about the Law of Attraction and how long have I seemed to forgotten everything that I had written....??????

TOO. LONG.

I come here today after several nights of meditation....WhooooSaaaaaah....and another morning of leaving the house irritated and angry about feeling like I am in a sea of never ending house work! Cleaning! De-cluttering! Searching! Cleaning! Cleaning! and oh, did I mention CLEANING!

It seems that when I go to sleep at night, Gremlins take over and I wake up to crap everywhere all over again!

So, back to my original question. How long have I been preaching about the LOA?

Long enough to know that my actions and thoughts are causing my grief! For example, how many times have I let go of the "how" and manifested what it was that I wanted? MANY!

So why is it so hard for me to let of the HOW now? How am I going to find the perfect house? How am I going to get this house completed and ready to sell? How am I going to manage any time differences between the two? How am I going to finish getting everything done? How am I going to manage the changes in school, schedule or getting the girls home everyday in another neighborhood? How am I going to fix, update or redecorate my new house? How am I going to pay our tax bill this year AND afford to put 20% down on a new house? How? How? How?

(Oh and HOW am I going to buy a house with great Feng Shui? My current house is the perfect Feng Shui house and hard to compete with! Seriously people! You need to google what the perfect Feng Shui house consist of and you will find my house! I'm sure Mr. Strong is rolling his eyes right about now!)

It.
Is.
Exhausting.

I.
Am.
Exhausted.

Mentally and physically exhausted...

So today I am giving up the how. (WhooooSaaaaah) I no longer care about HOW - I just know that the perfect house is coming my way and I will sell my house in 1-3 days of putting it on the market. (WhooooSaaaaah!) I KNOW these things. (I have too...WhooooSaaaaah)

Now that I am relaxed - instead of bitching and complaining about How and Why and When and Where and WHEN (yes, my patience is limited.) I am going to share with you some before and after pics.

I am going to turn this frown upside down and marvel at the beauty my current house exudes! The Law of Attraction teaches us that if we complain and express our "don't wants" then we keep attracting what we don't want! Duh!

I have been writing and complaining and expressing that "I don't want to keep struggling with my current house...I can't find a new house...I don't want to keep cleaning my house EVERY DAY over and over again...I don't want this...I can't do that..." and POOF! I keep getting what I don't want and can't have!

No more.

For the sake of my sanity, family and marriage.

Today, I am going to leave a bigger tip than normal, help someone out, or even donate some money. I need to strengthen my weakened perspective of how lucky and fortunate I really am in my life!

Enjoy!

This door had just been painted and is wet! "Hey mommy, I see you! Whatcha doing mommy?"

Guest Bathroom Door Before.

Guest Bathroom Door After - Oh yeah! I did this!

Hallway Before

Hallway After! (Sorry for the darkness...I'm not a photographer by trade!)

2nd Hallway Before

2nd Hallway After! LOVE the new baseboards! Im so badass! (Cabbage patch - running man!)

Master Closet Before (what's behind the door is a whole other before and after story! ugh!)

Master Bath Before

Master Closet After (Oh yeah - I'm bad - riding the pony!)

Master Bath After (the white doors have really brighten up the place!)

LOVE the new paint color and the crown moulding!

The girls' closet doors - not sure what happened to my before...or Doodlebug's closet doors pictures...hmmmm?

New paint color and crown!

Again, the new paint color and crown! LOVE it! (Let's partaaay! Hula, Hula!)

Okay, I will confess that the doors were ALL ME (and a little Mr. Strong ;-) ), but the new paint, baseboards and crown moulding was hired out. I am completely aware of my limitations! :-) Mr. Strong pointed out many of them when I ventured into the door hanging and hardware replacement business...but you won't see those pictures!

;-)

Days 294-297 - It's getting so much worse!

2011-04-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

I can't begin this post without a truly heavy heart. I think this detour has been an unwelcome curse. Last night Mr. Strong and I decided to get a divorce - not to mention having to explain that to our 3 children. It's be a true nightmare and I wish this whole "new" house thing would not have ever been attempted!

My heart is broken and I am angry at the man and postcard I received about him being a "HIGH RISK" that started this whole process!!!!!

Since some of my story is inappropriate for my younger readers, you will have to go read the rest of the story here.

I hope you understand...

Days 274-293 - Lost in Hell!

2011-03-28T14:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, a few weeks ago I let the world know that I was on a detour.

Well? you know how you are driving and see a detour sign and it points you in the direction to go, but then there are no more signs and you end up taking a 20 minute route because - well? you don't know where the hell you are supposed to turn!!!!

That's me! Grrrrr!

Objective 1: Get the house ready to sell.

Status: The whole back of the house has been renovated and redecorated to about 93%. The front of the house is about 80% complete, while the backyard is only about 40% complete. (I have a ton of before and after pictures to post!) I'm working my butt off - literally - trying to get my house the way it should have been already! Mr. Strong works long hours, Doodlebug hurts more than he helps and the girls are ~~lazy~~ busy with extracurricular interest or watching Doodlebug, so the manual labor is moi, je, yo solo, me! I did hire a contractor to help me paint and install new crown moulding and baseboards, but I still feel like I am in this alone. (I went and spent years getting my MBA in Finance, so I wouldn't have to do manual labor...I'm sure Mr. Strong would prefer I didn't do any, since he had to fix a few of my mistakes. Maybe I will do more things wrong, so he will come in and actually do the work - right.)

WARNING: getting your house ready to sell creates an everlasting domino effect - DON'T DO IT!

Objective 2: Find a new house.

Status: Incomplete to the 100%! Okay people! this is ridonculous! Mr. Strong and I haven't been able to agree on anything and those houses that we do agree on are sold the day we view it... Finally, we decided to build and are currently awaiting those figures, but now? that is still being negotiated! WTH? I find a house I like and it is way too expensive - I find a house in my price range and it is not any better (updated) than my current house - it's not in the right school district - it's too far for the girls to walk home - we have to update and remodel before we can move in - blah - blah - freaking blah! I'm sitting on my 40+ house! What sucks worse...is that my budget is NOT low! You would think I wouldn't have a problem finding anything! House hunting sucks big green donkey dingalings and I feel completely alone - again!

Objective 3: Prioritize and manage my Fiscal Year End work.

Status: Complete to 95%. I am totally badass at what I do, so my work is almost complete, but I have to leave the remaining 5% because I don't know how much more of someone else's work I will have to complete. Oh yeah, I wrote that! I love my job and this is no secret to my readers, but I am stressed beyond what my endorphins can handle.

Manual labor = exercise = endorphins.
Manual labor = I don't know what the hell I'm doing! = stress.

(Right now the stress hormones are winning, because I just want to run away and hide and forget that I even started on this journey! )

Along with all of my prior objectives, Kitty is still hardcore tennis right now, so that means practices, games, tournaments and of course my awesome chauffeuring abilities. I started training both girls again, so I take advantage of Kitty's practices and utilize that time toward Kiki's workouts.

So? I am lost in detour hell and every turn leads to another effing turn and I feel like I keep going in circles. If I could clone myself, I would need 3 more of me to get everything done.

I am the demon robotic mom, wife and friend from hell right now (a.k.a. Mrs. BIATCH), because I don't want to take care of your problems, listen to your BS or simply care - until...

Until... I turn a corner and recognize that I have made stupendous strides towards reaching 100% of my objectives.

I WILL get there - and hopefully for the sake of my marriage to Mr. Strong and my children - I will get there very soon!

Days 267-273 I'm on a DETOUR

2011-03-08T13:45:00.003-06:00

Hello world!

The last numerous days and numerous days to come, have officially been crazy!

I'm on a detour in my life right now.

A detour that includes new house hunting...

A detour that includes current house de-cluttering, cleaning and staging for sale...

A detour that includes trying to be a "handy-man" and doing more damage than there was at the start...

A detour that includes excessive work because of fiscal year end...

A detour that includes committee meetings, board meetings and meetings about attending meetings...

A detour that includes my blogging (sanity) comes second to my insanity...

A detour that includes taking care of all the shizznit that no one else's lazy ass wants to take care of...

So to all my fans out there, I have not vanished, won the lottery, died, or skipped the country. I am diligently working at finding my way back from the temporary detour that is my life right now.

It appears that this would be A LOT easier if I didn't feel like I was going in circles, wearing one of these and banging my head against the wall without wearing a helmet!

Toodles!

Days 261-266 "here we go:"

2011-03-01T13:18:00.000-06:00

Well let me begin by saying that “I missed you guys! “

And follow up with “house hunting sucks big bleeping, bleeping bleeps!”

It seems that the only thing that Mr. Strong and I agree on is that we disagree! OMG I should have gotten my blog therapy in yesterday, because I just found the PERFECT house and well, the price tag is NOT perfect! So, I am sitting here in dream land with tears in my eyes, cussing the lottery gods.

*sigh*

*sniffle*

*sniffle*

It’s been very busy here at work – so busy that I will have to forgo the Mardi Gras shoot in Louisiana this weekend.

*sniffle*

*sniffle*

Aside from the above me working my assets off and not being able to afford the house I want…tear…I would like to share with you a conversation my family had on Monday night at dinner.

Picture this: we are sitting in a restaurant and Doodlebug for the first time ordered a corndog to eat. He takes the breading off and begins eating the wiener. After a few minutes, he begins to poke and cut and destroy the wiener….

Okay here we go:

Me: “Doodlebug! Quit playing with your weenie!” (meaning the CORNDOG!)

Kitty and Kiki: Spewed food and drink out of their mouth because I didn’t realize what I had just said!

Kitty: “OMG I can’t believe that you just said that out loud in a restaurant!

Kiki: “Mom!”

Mr Strong: picks up a piece of the wiener and throws it at Kiki – “ohhhh – right in the face!”

Kitty: is uncontrollably laughing

Kiki: picks up some food and throws it at Mr. Strong – “there! Take that!”

Doodlebug: trying to figure out what he can throw while laughing and jumping on the chair.

Mr. Strong: “that won’t be the last time you get hit in the face with a wiener!”

ME: open mouthed and shaking my head, staring at Mr. Strong…

Kiki: “I know, because you and Kitty are always throwing stuff at me!”

Me: still shaking my head and kicking Mr. Strong under the table (he looked at me and said "I didn't mean it like that!")

I guess I had unconcsiously had my mind in the gutter! Shish!

Then everyone settled down because our waitress came over.

Yep, that’s my family!

That’s all I have for today, because I have run out of time!

May you all be blessed and prepared to receive all the positive energy that I am sending your way!

MUAH!

Days 259-260 - HIGH RISK

2011-02-23T10:10:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon at the doctor’s office with Kitty because her tonsils are basically touching AGAIN – I think it’s time to get those babies yanked out! Since we are right in the middle of Tennis, I guess it will have to wait until this summer…fun, fun.

Anyway

Today I’m a little broken hearted.

I signed a Letter of Intent for my perfect space yesterday and this morning I found out that another “realtor” had an LOI in an hour before mine and I will NOT get my space. Tear :’-(

Why were there two people from the SAME small management place handling one space? Don’t they communicate!?

Ugh.

This place was perfect…

So now what?

I am discouraged…

I am confused…

I am a little heartbroken…

BUT!

I will NOT give up!

Period.

I just need to work out a few things…

I know I still owe you all before and after pictures – I have not forgotten! Just been busy…shhhh!

I do have another item on my agenda now. I am officially house hunting. We have outgrown our current house – not by people – but by “things”. We have no room for our trailer, RV or our Ranger. And since we live in the middle of town, we keep getting notices that we can’t park these items in our side yard or on the street. It sucks!

Among that reason, I received a postcard in the mail that we had a High Risk Sex Offender move into our community! Oh yeah! I am putting this out there! By my community, they mean literally down the freaking street!

My girls walk home people! (Of course they LOVED this time alone and independence!) I can’t have this! When I googled the sex offenders in our area, I found that there are 3! Count them THREE of these types of people in that same complex!

Keep in mind that I don’t live in the “bad” part of town either! What really pierces my heart is that I don’t feel it’s safe for the girls anymore. Not to mention – them walking home together and staying alone for an hour before I get home. (This guy’s particular offense was burglary WITH a sex offense! )

Now, I have to change everything! And I’m heartbroken all over again.

Why would you let a “HIGH-RISK” (their words – not mine) sex offender out of prison or on the streets? Can someone please explain why they are not in some mental hospital or rehab place? I pay enough taxes to support them being AWAY from me! Huh? Anyone?

So now I am house hunting – which makes me a little happier. I know that I can’t smother my girls and take away all of their freedoms, but that is exactly what my protective nature has done. Not only that, I feel that I am smothering myself because I refuse to even go to the grocery store alone without them! I hate it!

I am a ball of nerves, irritation and anger! We HAD a really good system and schedule going that was beneficial to everyone – not anymore!

What is soooo bad, is that I can’t control any of it!

I.Can’t.Control.ANY.of.It!

And yet my whole family, work and LIFE have been affected!

MY KIDS ARE MY LIFE! (okayyy, Mr. Strong too...)

So I will remain a little heartbroken…until the things that I CAN control are completed and successful.

:'-(

Where is a magic money fairy when you need one? "Poof! all of your debt and burdens are gone and your new house that you picked out is bought and paid for! Voila! Enjoy! Your family is safe now!"

*sigh*

Days 255-258 "pick your battles..."

2011-02-21T11:31:00.000-06:00

This weekend was a very busy weekend for me. Kiki had an orchestra concert that was a little more than entertaining. It was actually considered a family/school fair in which her orchestra played. Now keep in mind that this place is filled with children and tables representing all the different schools and extracurricular activities in our community. Her orchestra was supposed to play at 10:30, so naturally we arrived at 10:20 because it was one of those mornings and I somehow got lost – even with the navigation in the HUMMER…don’t ask.

She ended up going on stage about 30 minutes late, so that meant that I had 30 minutes to chase Doodlebug around the whole place and ply and bribe him with soda and chips and whatever else he asked for just so that he would keep being good.

And well? he made it most of the time, but the “good” in him wore off just as Kiki was going on stage. Kitty was doing all that she could to help me because I was trying to take pictures, but somehow this is how the whole event took place – after their orchestra went onstage.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Take picture of MEEEEE!"

"Kiki!! Kiki! I come up there?!!!!!" (Me: "DO NOT GO UP ON THAT STAGE! Leave her alone and come here!")

(Do I look at him or do I practice...oh boy!)

Yes, I am still watching you Doodlebug! Do NOT go up on that stage...come here! (That grin on his face tells me I better not take my eyes off of him!)

WTH! I only took my eyes away for a second! "Doodlebug! Get out from under there!" (As I pull him back and try to minimize the scene that is happening - remember that Kiki's Orchestra is playing in the background!)

"Kiki hurry up! Kiki hurry up! I'm tired!" (At this point my "give a damn" was broken.)

After a morning like this on Saturday I felt that my only hope in getting “some parts” of my life back into MY control, I decided it was going to have to be a weekend of spring cleaning. Yes, those pictures will be coming to you this week. They are part of my de-cluttering and cleaning out before and after pictures that I owe and will owe you this week.

Anywhoozle, I knew that my only option of getting this accomplished was going to include ALL of my laundry. And the only way ALL of my laundry was going to get done was to swallow the expense and guilt (knowing I have the large duet washer/dryer at home) and venture to the Laundry Mat. (this is what I called it growing up…)

The plan was to gather EVERYTHING, so that when we returned, we could separate, de-clutter and donate CLEAN clothes. So, I took before pictures of the girls’ closets and of Doodlebug’s. My one mistake was cleaning out some of Doodlebug’s toy closet because he found his old Halloween costume and well…

You have to learn to pick your battles and I knew this is one that I wasn’t going to win…nor did I care – he’s three.

This is how he "went" all day - he brought a lot of smiles to many faces!

GARRRRRRRR! Scary Dinosaur!

Day 254 "Because I said so!"

2011-02-17T14:04:00.000-06:00

Today I read this:

The way to have complete control of the law is to have complete control of yourself. Control your thoughts and emotions and you will become the master of the law of attraction because you have become the master of yourself.

I found this very humorous and thankful that it didn’t include “control your bodily functions” because I am quite certain in my sleep deprivation’s stupor this morning when I was stumbling back to my own bed as dawn broke (because Doodlebug had a really rough night…) I farted OUTLOUD as I was crawling into the bed that housed the sleeping Mr. Strong. I could be mistaken, but I don’t think I am. I probably woke him up because it was not long before he got up to get in the shower. (“no babe! that wasn’t me – I think your alarm clock just sounded funny…did you change the music tone?”)

I didn’t care at the time…I was a walking zombie. It is really funny because this is something that I NEVER do in front of him or the kids – I just don’t…no need to elaborate. Needless to say, I still have a LOT to work on at mastering myself.

______________________________________

I have been super excited about opening my studio and offering my services to young adolescents! Recently, I have been working on my so called “marketing” plan for my studio and my services. This is hard when I have other obligations to fulfill, but I think I have a really good all around, nothing firm, flexible, changing every moment, obsessive compulsive, ADD, chaotic handle on it all.

(Damn, I’m in trouble! Why can’t I just win the lottery? Oh yeah, I have to play first…)

_______________________________________

So I weighed Kiki a couple of days ago...mmmmmm huh! It wasn’t good. Let’s just say that the Drill Sergeant is back in business full time as of today!!!!!!!!! I know what foods I buy and stock at the house, so it got me to wondering – aside from not being AS active as her sister – how in the hell has she gained all her weight back that she lost this summer? It turns out that she had been buying large slushies EVERY day at school to go with her lunch. Poor girl…she has no idea what I am actually capable of…I think she and Kitty will be on the side of the road puking in today’s workout. Kitty, you can thank your sister for what is about to happen!

And they can’t do anything about it – because I am the mom – and because I said so!

_______________________________________

Oh yeah! I have been meaning to tell you all that I have officially given up all white breads, pasta’s and so forth. It’s been two weeks and I have only had a couple of setbacks, but I continue to succeed at being a gigantic psychotic biatch!

(Ohhhhh Bread…I dream of your hot, moist, freshly buttered toasted ends….)

Days 248-253 A Mrs. Strong Taco!

2011-02-16T11:36:00.000-06:00

Hello World! I’ve missed you! I feel like I have been …well I really don’t have time to feel, so I guess I will get back to you on the completion of that sentence in a few minutes.

Okay, I might as well do this chronologically…

Friday:

Friday morning I woke up and for some reason Doodlebug was in the most horrible mood possible! He was yelling, crying, and throwing himself on the ground and didn’t want to cooperate with anyone!

All because he wanted – but didn’t want – a PB&J sandwich. Okay, so what happened is that Kitty made him a peanut butter sandwich and because it didn’t have jelly = temper tantrum! Okay, so I put jelly on it and then = temper tantrum! We are all trying to get loaded up into the HUMMER, so I can take everyone to school and he doesn’t want to sit in his car seat = temper tantrum! Kitty handed the PB&J sandwich to him after we finally got him buckled in and he THREW it up front! (At this point I was too mad to pull the car over and spank his butt all I could do was count to 10 and breathe!)

So naturally, I took his PB&J sandwich and threw it out the window = temper tantrum! I dropped Kiki off – I dropped Kitty off and then when I headed back East to take him to daycare (and about to EXPLODE with frustration) I came upon some ice from out of nowhere and rear ended another vehicle! (I watched in slow motion as I hit her Tahoe and told myself – yes this is about to happen! Eeeeeek!) The other vehicle turned the corner and as I followed her and we got out to inspect the damage – I saw that there wasn’t any. (WTH? Really? I hit her pretty dang hard and OMG, I must have been doing something right (like not spanking the hell out of my son) because we went about our merry ways. Doodlebug still cried the rest of the way to daycare because his sandwich was on the road somewhere feeding birds…

At daycare, I guessed he realized that I was actually relieved to drop him off because he needed me to hold his hand and sit with him and give him 15 kisses and 15 hugs before I left…and it totally changed my mood! Lol. There is nothing like the innocent hugs and kisses from your children – even when you swear they are possessed with demons!

I get to work and I don’t know if it was because my adrenaline was up from the near death insurance claim, or because Doodlebug distracted me with all of his temper tantrums, but my stomach was gurgling so bad that either I was going to regurgitate whatever was left in my stomach from the night before or I was going to have to run to the bathroom and become victim to a “downstairs” porcelain explosion of massive proportions! It turns out I had the stomach bug…so after a couple of hours, I headed home and spent the rest of the day in bed.

Saturday:

I was feeling completely normal and woke up at 6:15am in order to get Kitty to her bus on time. She had a tennis tournament all day in a neighboring town. I followed the bus to the tournament and was accompanied by a beautiful sunrise. (Of course I probably shouldn’t have been driving and taking pictures…)

Kitty played her first match after about 7 hours of arriving at the school. She played mixed doubles and that division was the last to play each round, so we didn’t get home until after 10pm. They ended up in Third Place and I took some amazing pictures, but when I went to load them onto my laptop at home – the laptop froze – EVERY TIME – so to save my laptop from being thrown out of the window too, I just gave up trying.

Sunday:

Sunday was my day to give my Valentines present to Mr. Strong. I took him shooting at Windwalker Farms – he is sooo easy.

They had a great turnout for the registered shoot! Our squad grew as the morning flew by waiting on Miss Hot Mess to arrive. (I think she was still wasted from the night before because as you will see in the following pictures, she definitely made herself comfortable between stations!)

Someone check to see if she is breathing!

awwww! look how she "spoons" with her shotgun!

No that is not a coat! That is Hot Mess sleeping on the table while everyone shoots!

You really have to be messed up if you can sleep through shotguns going off! lol!

Even though I started out quite bitchy that morning, I ended up having a great time!

Monday:

Valentine’s day! Yay! And can I just say that Mr. Strong did not disappoint!

I received 4 Valentine cards from Mr. Strong and although he had me crying through the first three, he had me laughing extremely hard at the last one!

I was upstairs in a meeting when I was called downstairs for a delivery. Mr. Strong surprised me with all of this and more AND Doodlebug! I got to eating all of the fruit out of the basket and that’s when I remembered that I still needed to take a picture! So notice the empty white sticks? those originally had fruit on them…yum!

I could go on and on about how wonderful Mr. Strong is, and about how he is the only one that can make me crazy in rage and crazy in love at the same time, but I will leave that for another day…I have a book going here…

Tuesday:

This was me yesterday…(and on most days)

Enough said…

Today:

Well today - right now - I am a little frustrated and little happy and little excited and also a little exhausted. Roll all of those feelings into one and you have one really lucky Mrs. Strong taco!

Days 246 & 247 "this is how life should feel!"

2011-02-10T15:20:00.000-06:00

Here I am struggling to keep up with everything again. I am busy …

Busy at work…

Busy at home…

Busy on my new studio…

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I love being busy. I love having a routine. I love having a strict schedule, so that I know where everything fits into my life. I thrive on knowing that “showing up” is NOT half the battle for me, showing up is what keeps me from actually battling everyday with unorganized chaos.

And yet, that is what makes me the unhappiest – go figure.

I feel like I am so busy being busy that I am missing out on life. I haven’t had the chance to stop and smell the roses because well frankly – it is not in my schedule and keeping schedule and being on time creates less stress…right? I want the best of both worlds and I WILL to discover that magic formula very soon!

I’ve always been a working mom and I will always be a working mom. That is my nature. I love my children, would die for them, but the thought of really being a stay-at-home mom drives me restless. There are two sides to every story and although I am filled with a twinge of jealously to all those stay-at-home moms out there, I am also at peace knowing that I am not one. (I tried it – didn’t like it.)

Yesterday I left work an hour early to go pick up the girls from school. Leaving an hour early meant that I was able to treat myself to the gym for over an hour before I had to pick up Doodlebug. Okay? When I left the gym I was on a runner’s/cyclist high because my workout felt great! It felt wonderful to relax and take my time and really focus on myself for a change without the “mommy guilt” creeping in. I was in a calm state of “this is how life should feel!”

So, until I find the balance of working, working out, living, and reducing my “mommy guilt” and well? feeling alive – I shall continue to be busy with the hopes that I get to sneak in an extra hour here and there for me.

If that doesn’t work, then I will rely on my accrued vacation time to help me get caught up!

(You know? If I could just hurry up and win the lottery then all of my “working-mommy guilt” would go away…just saying! I think I would like being a stay-at-home mom then, because I wouldn’t be staying home!)

On another note:

I have selected the line of bath and body products that I will be retailing in my studio. (You know, to offset revenue…) I thought I would share a sneak peak with you. Can I just say that this line of natural handmade soaps that are animal friendly, eco-friendly, vegan, synthetic free and petroleum free are 100% FABULOUS! So you can only imagine just how wonderful their other natural/organic products are! I don't want to reveal the name just yet, as I will be the first business in Texas to retail them! Yay!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THEM!

Days 242-245 Shock and Awe!

2011-02-08T09:43:00.001-06:00

Where to begin…

I got through the weekend still in a depressed mood. But, the good thing about my mood is that it did not delay me cleaning out two more cabinets for y’all to see. I know I still officially owe you 1 more plus the 1 from this week, but we will deal with that later…mmmkay?

Before - Please don't ask...so I don't have to lie...

After

Before - OMG - WTH? OOOh boy...

After

Actually, cleaning out just two cabinets made me feel a little better inside. One cabinet and drawer at a time – I WILL have a de-cluttered kitchen very soon – then on it is to the next room.

Charge!

Yesterday had me in a work frenzy trying to get more than my share accomplished – that’s how I roll. Anywhoozle, as I was leaving work at 6 last night, I was begging the Universe for a sign that I was still on the right track (you know my patience…) with my studio and overall plans and? well? Nothing. So, I left to pick up Doodlebug with little motivation for working out.

Before I pulled into the garage I retrieved the mail and holy cow! my PT test results were in. I didn’t even have to open the big envelope before I could read the “Congratulations…on passing the NETA Personal Trainer exam.” WhoooooHoooooo! I was told it would be 4-6 weeks before I knew my results and received my certificate, so I was pleasantly surprised! Hell, I was dancing!!!!!! (cabbage patch – running man, running man, ride the pony – oh yeah I’m bad!)

THERE’S MY SIGN…

I knew in that instant that I was on the right track. Elated doesn’t describe how good I felt!

Then all of a sudden, I had this abundant amount of energy and I got in my 5 miles – smiling the whole way!

When I found out, I immediately texted Mr. Strong and he replied with a “that a girl! I’m proud of you!” At just about the same time that I got Mr. Strong’s reply, this hotass sent me a CHEERS!

The Friend aka Hotass

She didn’t know that I had passed and received my certificate only moments before, so the “toast” was very appropriate and could have only been timed by the Universe! Lol.

Oh wait! It gets better.

Soon after all of this is going on I get a text from this hot mess that read:

“So I get the urge to cook and I see this recipe that looks absolutely gorgeous so I make it right! And now I don’t know what to do with it! Hmmmmm, scratching my head.” (what?! DUH!!!!! bring that shit to me!!!! She only weighs a 100lbs, so I knew she wasn't going to eat it! lol.)

Shooting Partner aka Hot Mess aka Private Chef

Really? This is actually happening? Really?

I get my certificate in the mail, I get toasted by The Friend out of nowhere, and now my very own private chef for the night?!!!!! OMG – I must have done something right somewhere!

Okay, maybe she isn’t my very own private chef – maybe she is my shooting partner – but she definitely knows how to cook!!!!!! When I asked her if she wanted some (talking with a mouth full of food) she declined. She said that she is about to demo her kitchen and wanted to see if “she still had it” – ummmmm? HELL YEAH you still have it!!

YUM doesn’t begin to describe how good this was!!!!!! AND IT WAS HEALTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grilled Shrimp on fresh Spinach with Avocado and Pico - This should be in a magazine! It "was" soooo pretty!

Shock and awe – people – shock. and. awe.

Last night wiped away all the days prior to it spent in a depressed state of frustration and emotionless. So to you sexy individuals –

THANK. YOU.

Dy 241 R-O-B-O-T M-O-D-E

2011-02-04T11:20:00.001-06:00

It is official. I am shutting down. I am trying to find my positive perspective, but it is playing hide and seek with my mind and winning! I knew this day wasn't going to be much different from yesterday when I went to put on my Jeggings this morning and while I was tugging at them to go over my ass the faux zipper area busted! Jeggings are almost 100% stretch people! So, so sad! Do you feel my pain?!

See! Now I have an open zipper area with NO zipper. I'm going to have to sew it back together...ugh.

I am on robot mode today. I don't care, I have no feelings and I am just doing what I am told or what needs to be done.

(And NO that doesn't give Mr. Strong permission to test my "I am just doing what I am told" robot mode.)

I wanna cry.

I wanna scream ("why the hell haven't you learned this yet!!!!!!)

I wanna go on a long all inclusive vacation to the St. Regis Resort, Bora, Bora in the French Polynesia.

I can no longer compete.

I have no control.

I have everything in this world to be grateful for - I am truly the luckiest woman in the world - yet I can't hold that perspective long enough to change my thought waves. It's going to be a short weekend...

So, until Monday, I will be hibernating in my closet drinking wine - or maybe I won't - I'm in R-O-B-O-T M-O-D-E.

Days 239 & 240 "I'm on the verge..."

2011-02-03T11:48:00.000-06:00

I'm on the verge of screaming...

I'm on the verge of jumping...

I'm on the verge of running away...

I'm on the verge of "shutting down", and it is going to be really, really, really sad.

Really sad.

(I need a double shot of positivity right now!)

Days 235 - 238 Coming up for air.

2011-02-01T14:21:00.000-06:00

I feel like I have been bombarded with work and personal goals that I haven’t found the time to breathe!

I spent two whole days this weekend in a gym acquiring my Personal Trainer Certification and if I can “pat myself on the back” a little bit ----I totally rocked it! I went in to the final written exam with a little bit of apprehension and anxiety, but my short-term retention abilities (since we got 1 hour review before the exam) kicked in and I walked out of that room with my head held high and my confidence soaring!

My heart is filled with gleeeeeee and excitement! Ohhhh the possibilities!!!!!

Yesterday and the first half of today has been spent in meetings, with more to go. *sigh*

So this is me…coming up for air.

Really, it is me on my lunch break and needing a quick dose of blog therapy! We finally got snow down here in the south!

I’m not kidding! It was sunny and 78 degrees yesterday and this morning we woke up to BEAUTIFUL snow! Yay!

I love the snow. I feel like it cleans and purifies and makes way for a glorious spring. I know this little bit of snow is nothing for you guys up north, but it is quite nice nonetheless! Do you know what makes me a little jealous? the fact that the North gets to experience the truest forms of the 4 seasons. Down here in the south, we get hot, hotter, warm and cool – yep, that’s it.

Leave the 100mph wind and wind chill out of the equation and shower me with snow more often! Maybe I can just make my way to Aspen, CO and get my fill of it every now and again?

Do you have any other snow travel destination suggestions?

Oh yeah, by the way, I am doing wonderfully on my eating! I am back down 3 pounds (IN THE MORNING - Oh yeah, doing the cabbage patch!) and I feel GAAAAREAT!

It’s time to kick up the workouts. I am going to pledge that I will get in (run, walk, cycle) a minimum of 5 miles EVERY day the WHOLE month of February!

I also have a few more book recommendations too! I have a cyber friend that has officially published! You go girl!!!! If you haven't met her before through my blog or hers for that matter, let me formally introduce you. Everyone meet Mrs. Fatass – Mrs. Fatass, this is everyone!

(If I wasn’t so confident that I WILL be published this year and headed out on a book tour…I might me a little jealous that she is in print before me…might. :-) But, I’m not – because she is absolutely fabulous and extremely entertaining!!!!!!! This is definitely a coffee table book – so everyone can see it!!!!! (and then go buy their own, of course…)

Okay, here I go again…back to work.

Days 233 & 234 Instant Gratification

2011-01-28T09:14:00.000-06:00

I have been/am extremely busy. For realz people!

But I wanted to share with you all that I have officially passed my performance/written CPR/AED certification tests! Yay! It wasn’t hard, but it means that I am one step closer…

Next on the agenda is my Personal Trainer certification this weekend, followed by my final in my Life Coaching studies next week!

I .

AM.

MAKING.

MY.

DREAM.

COME.

TRUE.

Baby steps, or what I like to call Building Blocks, are what I am using to accomplish my goals! OMG, you don’t know how hard this is for me! I mean HARD! I am an “instant gratification” type of person and having to wait, study and plan has me on the verge of popping an intestine! For example, apparently there are “issues” with the location that I have picked out for my studio. Here I am going…”okay, what “issues” are there?” and….no response other than someone will be contacting me. WTH is that?

I don’t have the patience to wait, but I have to have the patience to wait? Noooooo! I want to know now! (stomping my feet like a 2 year-old) My mind is racing with questions like “is it the building, the tenant, the management or the neighbors? WHATTTTTT?” Then I turn to “if there are “issues” then do I really want this space? Will the energy be bad inside and create a horrible Feng Shui balance because of these “issues”?” I know I am pitiful, but I can’t turn off my mind.

(hummmm…in through the nose…out through the mouth…hummmm.)

I have to tell myself to just breathe because in reality, until all my certifications are completed and my studies are final I can’t open the studio. I know things are progressing and I am very excited about it, but the waiting and patience is a real biatch!

__________________________________

I haven’t forgotten about my de-cluttering! I owe you all from last week and this week and I promise to get you both of those before and after photos! (Currently I only have the before...shhhh.) The other day when I recommended a book to everyone, I got an email from a certain individual that suggested I read Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat by Peter Walsh. I reserved a copy at our local Barnes and Noble Bookstore yesterday and I am going to go pick it up at lunch today – if for no other reason than I LOVE that title.

I will let you know how it turns out, but for now I need to finish working, so I can go take the girls to lunch and then go home and study, study, study for this weekend’s PT certification test.

What dream are you working on? Or what book are you reading? It’s okay, you can talk to me…

Days 231 & 232 "...I really want this!"

2011-01-26T09:48:00.000-06:00

Well after a week of writing down what I eat, I have surprisingly learned that I do not eat as bad as I initially thought. So after analyzing WHY I thought it was soooo bad, I have come to the conclusion that my mistake lies in WHEN I eat and not in what I eat. As much as I try to avoid it – we eat late. I think this is my number one problem. By the time I get off work and then the kids are picked up and chauffeured to their respective sports and practices and games and concerts – we come home and eat. This happens every day of the work week. On the weekends, we eat an early brunch and then an early dinner and that’s it. Sunday is usually our day for some “dessert” around 3ish, but even that doesn’t happen all the time.

Eating late – around 8 p.m. on most days of the work week…

That might not be late for some people, but that is late for my family.

So, you may be asking “where is all this coming from?”

I went to work yesterday with my pants a little tighter than normal around the waist so I WEIGHED myself this morning after my run and…

I have gained back 6 pounds!

How my clothes fit is normally my “scale” so naturally after my wardrobe issues yesterday, I knew it was time to really see what was going on.

Okay, six pounds might not seem a lot to any of you, but that is SIX POUNDS in the MORNING when I am supposed to gauge my “real” weight. What that means is that I weigh more than those 6 pounds in the afternoon!

I am aware that the body fluctuates around 5 pounds up or down, but I haven’t reached my goal weight yet people! I can’t have this. This is unacceptable. I have decided to take back control and get out of this content state of my normal routine. My body is used to it and it is not getting me any more results. I am going to have to throw in some weight training – ugh! But at this point, I don’t care if I have trouble walking or writing with a pen or even typing – I need to change up my routine.

This is me getting out of my own way, so that my success can continue.

Something else that I have discovered throughout this journey?…when I work out in the evenings, I don’t get quality sleep. When I work out in the mornings – I get quality sleep. (Another Ugh!) This means that it is back to working out in the mornings for me.

I can do it – I can do anything I WANT to do!

And I really want this…

____________________________________

On another note:

I couldn’t quite figure out why I was re-filling my girls’ lunch accounts so often. I get online to check their balances at least once a week and kept seeing the money disappear. This has been going on for years, but it has really increased this year, so naturally in fear of going broke and each one of them gaining a ton of weight, I asked. “Why are you using more money than what it cost each day for lunch? Are you buying junk food?!”

I got this response from both of them. “NO, I have bought several of my friends’ lunch because they didn’t have any money and they couldn’t get a hold of their parents and they were going to have to eat a cheese sandwich and those are gross.”

I got this response from BOTH of my girls!

Ummmmm? I can’t really argue with that reason. My response was “Ok, just don’t be buying crap-food!”

Kitty threw in a quick “but they are going to pay me back…” and I stopped her in the middle of her sentence. “NO! Never ask or expect someone to pay you back after buying them lunch. Just know that you did a good thing and move on. NEVER expect someone to pay you back. Offer to buy them lunch because you know you are their only means of eating lunch that day. Be proud that you have parents that can afford to help you help them – understand?”

I felt proud of my girls and at the same time ~~(a little guilty for judging)~~, worry that one day they will buy too many other lunches and NOT have money for their own lunch. I got over it quickly, because I grew up poor. I know what it is like to NOT have money for lunch. I have begged and borrowed and made promises that I couldn’t keep all in the effort to eat lunch for the day.

So let me take this opportunity to publicly THANK each and every one of my classmates that had ever loaned me money to buy lunch or bought me lunch or took me to your house to eat lunch. Although I made promises to pay you back I couldn’t keep, I can proudly write that your generosity to me has never been forgotten and has been “paid forward” 1,000x’s over!

MUAH!

(6 pounds…shish)

Days 228-230 "20 Questions"

2011-01-24T14:48:00.000-06:00

Most days I am bombarded with questions; not only at work, but at home too. Sometimes I feel like I am an answer robot. People ask me questions for answers and then go about their business. Very seldom do I feel like I actually partake in a “real” conversation.

It has gotten so bad lately, that I have banned the girls from asking me certain questions. For example, I get 20 questions EVERY day about what, where, have I talked to…all regarding Mr. Strong. I get questions that are impossible to answer because I am NOT the person the question should be directed to. Sometimes I just look at them and say “Really? Did you really just ask ME that question?!” Shish!

So, on this happy note, I thought I would go ahead and publically answer the top question I get asked by my fans more often than not.

(First, I have to admit that on Sunday morning I woke up with the most fantabulous “bedhead” ever! I almost took a picture of it because I don’t think I could have made it look that perfect if I tried to on purpose! But I didn’t…)

Sorry, I digress…

1. What is your favorite book or is there a book you recommend?

Well actually, I don’t have a “favorite” per say. I love all kinds of books and genres! I don’t discriminate – at all! Currently, I love The Secret and most books that revolve around the Law of Attraction (oh and lest I forget the trashy romance novels on my nightstand), but if I had to recommend a book to my fans right now, it would be The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Yes it is exactly like it sounds. The book is about a woman’s year long journey to finding happiness (or just being happier) in her everyday life. I think we all need to go through a Happiness Project ourselves. I’m talking about finding happiness in the little things – finding happiness where normally anger and irritation persist in daily life. This book I recommend to EVERYONE! The concepts in this book (to me) go hand in hand with what the Law of Attraction teaches. It is NOT about the LOA, but because it is about finding a positive perspective I am extremely attracted to this book!

Happiness is the easiest and purest thing we can feel in this world. Unfortunately, we get so caught up in the theories and looking for happiness that our adaptation of these things blinds us to actually being happy.

So go read the book – or not – but here is my answer to the top question that I receive daily. I hope this helps many of you and I will not expect this question again…right?

Go forth and find happiness!

I can "happily" write that this weekend I was under 1,500 calories on BOTH days. (Oh yeah, doing the cabbage patch...I'm bad!)

Days 226 & 227 So, where do I go from here?

2011-01-21T09:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday and today was/is extremely busy for me at work. I feel like I have changed the momentum corner and certain things are falling into place with oodles of potential and possibilities.

So, where do I go from here?

I go straight down the street to an upscale (elite) shopping center that houses my future studio. I have driven by it countless times just to get that rush of excitement over “what ~~could~~ WILL be.”

___________________________________

I get periodic emails from a certain company about the Law of Attraction and I woke up to this one this morning.

“Get into the feeling of having what you want now, and keep feeling that. It will be the most wonderful feeling in the world. As you practice the feeling, it will get stronger and stronger. You will begin to feel that you already have what you want. When you do this, the law must respond. Remember that the law has never failed in anything it has undertaken, and it will not fail in your case either.”

This is extremely appropriate in my case! I. Can. Feel. It! I don’t want to get ahead of myself – next weekend is my Personal Trainer Certification – but, I am so confident that I have what it takes to pass that I can’t help but act on my instincts to start decorating! Lol. I laugh, but that is how I know something is right. If I can see the décor and everything flows with positive Feng Shui, then I become an overachiever before the final planning is written on paper.

Before I set my New Year’s Resolution to “stay out of my own way” I would have already caved to the figure$ written down on paper in black and white. I would have been delayed with fear over “how do I pay rent” or probably even “how do I get the start-up money”, but I am not. Not this time. I don’t care HOW – I don’t know HOW – all I know is that it WILL be. And that is what I am holding on to. My vision is the end result and that is also what I am soooo excited about. In order for me to get out of my own way, I am giving up the “how’s” and focusing on manifesting my dream (the end result).

And guess what? It seems to be working, because things are happening in a way that can‘t be avoided. I AM manifesting my dream! The Law of Attraction is working on the same wavelengths as my thoughts – I am so excited!

I have work to do for now and this afternoon? well, I say good-bye to the blonde hair and welcome a new brown color similar to Jessica Simpson below.

This weekend will be spent studying like hell for my PT certification and maybe Mr. Strong can talk me into shooting ~~kicking his butt in~~ a round or two of Sporting Clays! (xoxo, Mr. Strong)

(Two days of food items will be too long to list today…so, let’s just say on Wednesday I was under 1,500 calories and yesterday……..I was not. ;-))

This weekend I challenge you to follow your dreams or manifest something you greatly deserve! We were ALL meant to have, be and do anything our heart desires!

Day 225 Unfinished business.

2011-01-19T10:09:00.000-06:00

A week off from working out and you would think that I could just fall right back into the swing of things…nope – I didn’t get that lucky. Last night the girls and I went to the school and walked/ran 4 miles. Holy hell my calves were hurting only a ½ mile into our run! I literally had to stop and stretch them in fear of my skin ripping open and exploding! Then I had this whole “smokers” sound coming from my voice and coughs! I would cough so bad after I stopped running (or during my run, so I would have to stop) that I scarred myself with the sound! Ughhh – Ewwww!

I made it though and the girls did great too! Kitty ran most of the time and Kiki skated. Speaking of Kiki, the night before when I told her to “let the ~~dogs~~ girls in” she came running into my room yelling “mom, it snowed!” I looked at her in a strange way because it was 78 degrees earlier!

Me: “Are you sure? It was HOT today!”

Kiki: “Yes! It snowed outside! Come look!”

Me: “Kiki, that looks like dead grass to me…hmmm.”

Kiki: “No it’s NOT! It is white – get the flashlight!”

Me: (holding the flashlight out the back door) “Um yeah Kiki, I’m pretty sure that is dead grass…goofy!”

Kiki: “Oh, well it looked like snow!”

Me: “Yeah okay – whatever genius!”

‘Gotta love children…

This morning had the most beautiful sunrise that I have seen in a long time. The blues, purples and oranges were so mesmerizing, the girls even commented on the sunrise.

On another note: here is a picture of my finest china (portion plate) with my home cooked roast from Monday night. I forgot to post this picture yesterday, so this was just some unfinished business…

The spinach salad had 1 roasted corn, pecans and light watermelon vinaigrette dressing.

Last night I made tacos. This picture makes them look HUGE because they were placed on one of my other 6” fine china patterns.

96% lean hamburger meat with Rotel (1tbsp in each wrap)

Low fat Mexican Blend cheese

Fresh onions and cilantro and avocado

Lettuce wraps

They were delicious!

Instead of giving you another screenshot of my food/calories (what I’m saying here is that I really don’t have time to search and enter in everyday my food on another website.) I will just list my food log at the bottom of every post. Mmmkay?

Breakfast: PB&J on 100% Whole Wheat (275) + 1 can of Coke Cola (140)

Lunch: Turkey & Pepper Jack on Wheat w/onions (354) + 8 BBQ Pringles (75)

Snack: Nothing, Nada , Zip, Zilch (I got busy and forgot – I’m working on the whole snacking thing…) (0)

Dinner: Two Lettuce Wrapped Tacos (387) Glass of wine (73)

Total Calories: 1,304 calories! Yay – I made it fewer than 1,500!

I am getting my caloric information off of thedailyplate.com if any of you want to calculate your own calories or double check mine. Counting calories is hard work! But, I think it is going to be worth it when I show off my six-pack abs sometime this year!

Oh yeah baby!

On a completely separate note:

Thank you for sticking with me through my temper tantrum yesterday. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I do have some really exciting news! (chill bumps!) When I left work yesterday I drove by the most perfect – vacant – location for my studio! YAY! I immediately emailed the realtor and asked if that location is available for lease! I haven’t heard back yet, but I’m sure I will send another ~~(20)~~ emails her way before the day ends…you know my patience for waiting…

After seeing this particular location my frustrations eased up some. Then I ran 4 miles and they eased up a little more and finally Mr. Strong eased the rest of my frustrations last night. (Thank youuuuuu Mr. Strong….)

Needless to say…I woke up in a GREAT mood! ;-)

I’m sending positive energy to every one of you too! I hope something you have wanted for a really long time manifest its way into your life very soon!

Day 224 - ...I got nothing...

2011-01-18T09:52:00.002-06:00

Today was going to be such an inspiring post...a post where my writing lifts you high up into the Universe with possibilities and dreams.

Well it WAS going to be that kind of post, but...I got nothing...nothing that I can even fake right now.

I am so overwhelmed with frustration right now that I am about to go to the HUMMER to hide and cry.

I feel like I deserve more credit...

I feel like I can no longer teach certain individuals to understand things that I understand...

I feel like I am losing my grip on reality and my perspective of having the best "certain" things in the world...

I feel like crying...

And no, it's not due to the amount of calories I ate yesterday or my fear to post them or how even when I put my whole heart into cooking last night, and even though it was "the best roast I have ever made" it was still a little chewy, tough and the salad was "different" - it is not from the 10 other things that I should be frustrated about.

I ~~know~~ feel that I don't have control over a situation where I just want to YELL...

I'm trying to hold it together...

Dear Universe,
Please let my reactions to my frustrations be an early sign of PMS.
Thank you.

I will post my food/calorie intake later...after work.

Okay, so below is a screenshot of my calories from yesterday and something just doesn't seem right! I had another salad last night so +50 more calories and well...that's is it! I figured my caloric intake would verge over the 3,000 mark (I don't know why...), so I am pleasantly surprised!

I know that I didn't fill in the categories correctly - breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner - but I really don't care enough to go back and change it right now...

I did good! Yay! I stayed under 1,500 calories, but I will probably need my cholesterol checked! lol.

Days 221-223 Oh boy!

2011-01-17T13:32:00.001-06:00

So here we are – it’s Monday – back to work. I am feeling MUCH better today, but I still haven’t shaken all of the sinus pressure yet.

This weekend I bought me a huge 8qt Crockpot! Yay! Now I don’t have any more excuses…uh oh!

Right now I have the most delicious smelling roast in it right now – I hope that it turns out as good as it smells! My family only knows I didn’t have very much luck with the last one…but times are changing! Oh yeah! Roast, cabbage and salad is on the menu for tonight! Yum!

Which reminds me…

Okay, I have the whole “working out” thing down pat…

I have begun to de-clutter and organize my house…

I have bought some new kitchenware for cooking…

Now, I just have to complete the cycle of my balancing act – healthy eating and working out – well, the healthy eating part…

Oh boy!

Every day from now on I will post my food intake from the day before and try to post the calorie count too! Oh boy! Oh boy!

I can’t lie and write that this doesn’t make me nervous! I’m terrified! But, I want those six-pack abs more than I don’t want to post what I am eating. And if I am failing horribly as a cook, then that is less food I get to ingest, right? My family will starve, but MY body can live off of my butt cheeks, so I will survive!

"This is a lifestyle change remember?! Talking to myself here… And you can’t ask any one of your future clients to do what you WON’T do…" yes I can, but okay, I get the point.

What it all boils down to is Leading by Example!

I want someone to refer my services and say: “She has done it! She has been through hell and back and has proved that EVERYTHING in this life is possible! If anyone can help you – she can!”

I want people to see that I am not just a “Drill Sergeant”, but a person that has overcome EVERY excuse in the book and knows what it takes to get the job done.

That is my purpose – this is my reality.

So to all of my fans today:

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” Pantanjali Yoga

(Read the passage again...)

Now, go forth and discover your greatness!

Day 220 "Did the clock break?"

2011-01-14T10:49:00.001-06:00

Tic-Toc

Tic – Toc

Did the clock break?

Tic-Toc

A couple of months ago I wrote this post: Tic-Toc
And guess what?

NOTHING has been done in the direction of fulfilling what needed to be done. Nothing.

I have cleaned and straightened and halfway organized and de-cluttered a couple of closets, but nothing 100%.

So, what brought this to my attention?

Well, in my sickened state last night, I was searching for something in my kitchen and couldn’t find it – it didn't matter that I couldn’t remember what it was or that I was standing in front of my cabinets with the doors wide open staring and hoping that whatever it was that I was looking for would pop up and say “hey, I’m over here!” – because the fact remained that I haven’t acted upon my previous post.

How am I supposed to finish my classes and become a Life Coach if I can’t even organize the things in my life that need organization?! How can I tell someone else to do something that I HAVEN’T even started doing myself?

Well, I can. I Will. Because I have started!

Instead of wasting any more time last night looking for something that apparently didn’t exist, I. Started.

So, go ahead and ask me if I got all of my cabinets de-cluttered and organized last night in my kitchen……go ahead…..

Hell no! Are you crazy? I am sick and heavily medicated!

BUT!!!!! I did start with one cabinet.

It’s like taking the first step into a gym or setting that first Building Block on the foundation of your greatest possibilities. It was ACTION toward my goal which = progress.

I opened what I thought would be the easiest cabinet to clean out and stood there staring at all the CRAP that had been piled into it. How in the holy hell did this get like this?

It wasn’t me!!!!!

Okay, maybe I enabled or added or stored stuff there for convenience – I don’t really remember. Lol.

But now it is cleaned and organized forever more! I pledge to not ever stick anything else that doesn’t belong in that cabinet – in there! Mmmkay?!

It is not about just having clean, de-cluttered cabinets. It is about organizing my life and reviving the energy flow of my house. One cabinet is not a huge gesture – but IT IS.

One cabinet for me is like one of my future clients taking their first steps on a treadmill after years of being sedentary. It doesn’t matter how long it took for you or I to realize that it was time, because we DID realize that it was time for the change and we both took our first step.

That. IS. Huge!

I will be posting on this blog at least once a week, some cabinet or closet that I have cleaned and de-cluttered – maybe more. My point today is this: last night I took the first step toward one of my goals by getting out of my own way (sickness excuse and all) and just did it!

And that my friends, is a direct action toward achieving my New Year’s Resolution!

Happy dance!

Days 217-219 This was ALLL YOU!

2011-01-13T09:40:00.000-06:00

First let me start today by saying I LOVE all my fans and fellow bloggers out there! WE finally reached the goal to get Chickadee her therapy dog and you know what? This was ALLLLLL YOU! You can go read about it over here and bathe in the positive energy that is rightfully yours. You guys ROCK!

Okay, back to me…

Monday I started blogging about my birthday week and then well – disappeared! I’m sure some of you thought I was overdosing on the whole “blogging drug thing” and believe me I had every intention to…until; I woke up on Tuesday morning.

But first, Monday afternoon had me picking up two of three of my children and then by Monday night, all three of my children were sick. Monday night was one of the worst I have had in YEARS and by Tuesday morning; we were all lined up at the Doctor’s office.

Diagnosis: Ear, Nose, Throat and Lung infections.

Yep ALL of us. It has been a pretty miserable 48+ hours – especially when Doodlebug has been a leach on my side and I feel bad too. It is hard to be sick and get any rest when the kids are sick too – almost impossible!

Today? Well I still don’t feel that great and if the severe sinus pain would go away I could probably think properly, but as life has it – I am back at work anyway.

On a very positive note, my work as a financial controller allows me to sit at a desk all day, so aside from my brain and mind working overtime, my body is basically at rest. And rest is what I desperately need!

I haven’t been this sick in 20 years and I have a theory…hear me out.

Okay, you all know I have a maid right? I haven’t had her for very long and I absolutely LOVE her. She has made my house sparkle and shine (at least on one day of the week – the one she cleans on…) and I have no complaints – AT ALL!

So remember when I posted part of an article that read your house could be making you sick – you know – being too clean? Well my maid cleans stuff that I haven’t thought about cleaning – EVER! She deep cleans to the point that she even took my wine glasses off the rack and RE-CLEANED them! I don’t think they sparkled that bright new! Seriously people! LOVE. HER.

But, here is my theory. I think she has definitely changed the whole microbiology of my house and we (my family) are no longer exposed to the germs and bacterium that were keeping us well. Yup, that is my theory. I once thought we were immune to everything, but since “everything” no longer inhabits our home, our bodies are getting sick trying to adapt.

So, do I give up the maid?

Hell to the NO! Are you crazy!?

I say we can go roll in the dirt and get over it!

Until then…the party is NOT at my house!

Toodles!